On July 26th I had to have an emergency c section due to severe preeclampsia. I went into the ER early that morning with a blood pressure of 186/130, hours later I was told they had to deliver my babies at 24 weeks and 5 days. At 11:58am on 7/26/19 my baby boys, Edin and Denis entered the world for a brief moment, they lived for about 30 hours in the NICU before they passed, most likely from a brain bleed. At the beginning of their birth we were told they had a 50% chance of survival and as any parent would, we hoped for the best. I had hope they would be the 50% that made it but God had other plans. My whole world came crashing down on me when things took a turn for the worst on the night of July 27th. My fiance and I watched our babies take their final breaths that night, they passed within few hours of each other. This has been the hardest thing I've been through since my dad passed when I was 13 years old. I'm still going through a mix of emotions from sadness to anger to thoughts of what could have been done differently. The only thing that keeps me going is my 2 1/2 year old son. I try to keep myself occupied with him so that I'm not constantly thinking, drowing in my own thoughts. My fiance has been very supportive and by my side through this whole experience. He was able to make it in the nick of time to the hospital for my c section and was by my side through it all. I don't know what I would do without him but today he had to go back to work and it's been really hard. Even with all the support from my family and friends I still feel so alone and depressed and I'm not sure where to turn. I'm trying so hard to keep my emotions to myself most of the time for the sake of my son, I know he needs me now more than ever. I would love to hear from others who've been through this. Any comments or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry for the loss of your twins. There are many parents here who have experienced loss and I know they have found some comfort in sharing their story and connecting with others. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Hello and welcome. I am so very sorry for the loss of your babies. Being a grieving mother is the hardest thing I ever had to survive. It definitely amplifies loneliness as its so hard for anyone to understand what you're going through, which in turn amplifies depression. The only thing to do is take one day, one hour, one minute or even one breath at a time, and just keep making it. Some days will be worse than others, but it is still possible to have moments of joy here and there. Allow yourself those moments. Please keep posting here about your journey, its a safe place full of people who understand.
Love and Hugs
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boys. Know that you are not alone. I'm so happy you have a strong support system in your fiance and we are here for you too. Just take it one day, one moment at a time. I hope you find comfort here in Share like so many other families have. My heart is with you and your family. Sending you lots of love! Naida
So many hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of you twins. I had a two year old at home when we said goodbye to our daughter due to IUGR and Preeclampsia, 13 years ago. There were days in the beginning where we would camp out in my bed and watch cartoons together, would even have a "picnic" in bed (as I would tell him) because that was all I could manage to do. However he though a picnic in moms bed was the coolest. Caring for a toddler when your are grieving can be tough, but they also give you a great reason to keep moving forward. I believe my 2 year old saved me. He was the reason I kept moving forward. Please know your not alone.
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