The goal of this blog is to find and share answers that may help unveil the mysteries of preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome
Like many parents, I left the hospital empty handed, with no reasons as to why I developed severe preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome, and no baby. I returned home with nothing but devastation, a hole in my gut, and track marks on my arms, trying desperately to pick up the pieces. People tell me that it wasn't my fault, that the cause(s) of preeclampsia were out of my control, that there was nothing I could do. Does anyone really believe this!? I don't. I CAN'T believe this, because that means that I am broken. It means that I have an unpredictable defect that could rear its ugly head again and murder my second child, and there's nothing I can do about it. FALSE, there are causes that can be prevented, I just have to figure out what my particular series of events were. I may learn that some of it was my fault, and I could have made better choices, and I may never forgive myself, but I'm willing to take that chance.
For those in my boat, you likely know that the medical community doesn't understand preeclampsia/HELLP Syndrome very well yet, although extensive, promising research continues. Unfortunately, these diseases are very illusive, multifaceted, and progressive, which appear to be caused by no single actor (rather, the cause differs by woman and her particular environment/physical situation), but end in roughly the same way.
I intend to document in this blog every aspect of my experience - every symptom, blood test result, medical/family history, emotional status, you name it - as well as the latest research I find, for two reasons:
If you would like to share your own experiences as well, please do! The more information we are armed with, the better off we'll be.
So sorry to hear this. And yes, I felt the same way. I went to one hospital when I started experiencing pain at about 20 weeks for them to tell me one thing and not do much. To having pain again and went and saw my doctor who diagnosed me with extreme short cervix and that I needed a cerclage but it was too late. Our son was born about 3 weeks later very early and we were blessed 10 days with him. My next pregnancy we were better prepared and I had a cerclage put in at 3 months pregnant and had a healthy baby.
I think as a loss mom we question every decision we make along our pregnancies. Nothing makes sense so we try to to make it make sense. Know you are not alone in those feeling and questions. Please be kind to yourself. Sending you a million hugs!
Note: As I grapple with my grief and begin to make sense of what happened, my blog will consistently morph. This is why the comments don't match the topic of this blog entry - these comments were in response to the entry in which I describe my story, which is now the second entry. Apologies!
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
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