On November 23rd i was induced at 37w6d due to elevated blood pressure. Our baby, Kennedy, was born on the 24th and passed away almost 12 hours later. There is currently no known cause. We did request an autopsy. The neonatologist feels there was something with his lungs and heart and that it won’t be a repeatable event for future pregnancies but we won’t know for sure for a while. My husband and i are devastated. This was our first baby and we were beyond excited to start our family. Aside from grief, I’m now filled with crippling anxiety and i don’t know how normal it is. First and foremost, I’m very worried about something happening to someone else close to me. I’m very clingy to my husband which isn’t typical for me. I’m also worried about something happening to me. The next set of anxieties is about whether or not we should get pregnant and whether or not this will happen again, also if we can, how long is a healthy amount of time to wait? I feel like my mind is in so many places and none of them are good, and mostly i just feel we are so alone right now. Has anyone experienced these feelings? What did you do?
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