I had conceived my baby after four and half years of infertility. During this time I had undergone many procedures like Hysterosalpingography, Endometrial Biopsy, hysteroscopy, salpingectomy and one failed IVF with 3 precious embryos. We both are so happy when finally we had seen those 2 pink lines we are on cloudnines. All blood test and scan are normal and I was active and happy. But I don’t know fate had decided biggest trauma and regret of my life at 24 weeks. Due to COVID we can’t visit hospital frequently but I was quite normal having no complaints. One day I noticed slight swelling at my feet and I checked my BP it was slight high. Next day all blood sample given. There was slight decrease in platelets and Liver function and urine was normal. Next day I visited my doctor with worry but she take it lightly and only advise tab labetalol 100mg in night and said not to worry as it is normal. On next visit next week my urine shows traces of protein. As a medical professional it made me more stressed. Next day she advise scan which shows IUGR. My whole world shattered. She advise to bed rest and some medicine and also hospitalisation. As my reports shows HELLP syndrome I was advised to terminate my pregnancy. I love my baby more than my life and decided to keep her at cost of my own life. As I continued Complications progressed and my baby can’t make it. Her weight and growth stopped at 835 gram. I was hopeful everything will be fine and tried to reach 32 weeks. I was regularly checking her heart rate. As it was my first baby and due to her low movements and less fluid in womb I was confused her movements with the cramps. One day on 30 July when I visit doctor for USG he told us that our baby is no more. It was the most shocking and terrible news of our life. I underwent denial, withdrawal, depression, and finally had to accept. My reports were fine so I have to wait for delivery for 5 days. These were terrible but somewhere I was happy my baby is at least with me. On 5/8 I delivered her she was so beautiful and sleepy . We hold her, cried for her and finally dressed her on the next day I had to say goodbye to her. I love and miss her so much daily. Now I had started hating my body, my self and my fate. I pray every day that I can change my past and hold my angel everyday. My due date was on 30 September, 2020. I feel depressed and missing her daily. Mamma love you so much my baby angel ❤️ I carried you than and I carried you still, it’s just instead of in my womb I will carry you in my heart forever.
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
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