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When I was eighteen I joined the navy. I was excited about my new life and journey, but everything went wrong when I decided to go to the beach with some people I barely knew. The day started off like any other day. I woke up, got dressed in my civi’s and headed out of the barracks. I called a cab and was met by two girls also in the military. We exchanged pleasantries and headed to a tattoo shop. While in the tattoo shop I got my navel pierced and one of the girls got a tattoo of baby footprints on her left chest. It was one of the quickest tattoos I had ever seen in my life, but i thought nothing of it. After that we got into a cab and headed to the beach. When we got there we were approached by two people. A man and a woman. I thought they were a couple and they spoke to the girls as though they knew one another. They said they were going to get some drinks then we parted ways. I walked onto the beach first and met up with two males, also in the military. They had alcohol and I had two shots of it. After that it turned around and said, “she knows she should not be wearing that.” About an obese woman standing to my left. One of the boys behind me said, “this is going to be fun” and I thought, yes this is. Then I turned back around and had a conversation. A man brought over a soda bottle. It was a Sunkist and I opened it and had two sips. It was warm, but I thought nothing of it, handed it off and had two more shots. After that I blacked out. The only thing I remember from that whole day was being in the water with fish jumping around me and the girls I initially came with. One of them was screaming her head off and I told her, “you’re not gonna die.” Then, the next thing I know, I was in a hotel room vomiting in the bathroom. I was helped to a bed and laid down. Then I remember crying and asking, “why did he leave me”? (I was talking about an ex boyfriend that cheated on me and got another girl pregnant). Why was he on my mind? I have absolutely no clue, but I digress. Then there was a taxi cab and i was on base outside of the girls barracks. Two people helped me out of the taxi cab and to the barracks, but before we could go in I stayed dry heaving. The higher up’s came out and asked what happened. I didn’t hear their conversation, but an ambulance was called and I was taken to the hospital. The next thing I know I’m in a hospital bed with a hospital gown on and I started feeling like I was being touched and no one was there, but me. Instantly my mind went to rape and then I heard someone in the hallway say, “underage drinking.” I thought all I had to do was say what I remembered and everything would be fine, everything wasn’t fine. After getting released from the hospital I had, had a headache that lasted two or three days. I talked to someone that took down my statement and I went on my way. They kept postponing my captain’s mast and I dated four guys in the meantime. I talked to the girls first and they said, “we heard what happened. Stick to your story and everything will be fine. They called us loose” and I remember wondering why would they say that I never told them anybody had sex and we went our separate ways. After that I talked to the males that were there and asked them what happened and one of them said, “those girls left you, you almost walked off with some marines, nothing happened.” I said, “ok.” And I left feeling even more suspicious than I was before. One day we had to do a deep cleaning of the barracks and while we were grabbing the supplies to clean it one of the males turned to me and said, “hey Dixon! The dicks are on huh”? And laughed. I laughed as well, uncomfortably and afterwards I thought about it in my room. What did he mean by that? I knew something happened, but who will believe me and had an anxiety attack. I stayed in the barracks and didn’t really go out like that unless I really had to. A man named Amir Johnson approached me and asked to be my boyfriend. Of course I said, “no” initially, but eventually I said yes. We dated for a while and he was the first guy I bumped pelvises with then he was transferred to his duty station. I tried to kill myself before he left and failed. My roommate Kelly saw the scars and told him about it and took me to medical where they gave me some pills and sent me in my way. After he left a male named Negron asked me to be his girl and I didn’t necessarily break up with Amir I just stopped talking to him. Then Negron was sent off to his duty station and a guy named Logan approached me to be his girlfriend. We talked for a while then he was sent to his duty station and I never heard from him again. After meeting literally my last fling in the military Reiner. They finally captain’s masted me. Before captain’s May proceeded a woman approached me and said, “you’re going to be a chief.” I wondered what the hell she meant by that and walked into the room. I stood there and my chain of command was asked to speak. They stood there and looked me in my eyes and said, “we don’t believe you. This whole situation makes you seem loose.” Reality hit me like a ton of bricks that day and all I could do was cry. I got out of the military after that and things just got worse for me. I went back home where I was molested when I was younger and I pretended like nothing happened. It’s been fourteen years since that day and I’ve never been the same. My therapist’s have told me I can have an investigation opened into what happened, but I am afraid to know. I lost hours that day not just a few measly minutes and part of me is curious, but the other part is petrified. I still don’t remember anything to this day and I’m wondering if anyone else had had a similar experience. Thank you for your time and for reading my story.
Hi there, I will say a prayer for you tonight. I hope that God can give you peace, & closure through this situation. I unfortunately hear this happens often in the military and it’s extremely sad. If I were you, I would do what feels right in my heart, idk if that helps but you have to do what’s best for you, & what feels comfortable. I wish those girls never left you alone!! In college if me & my “friends” were out, we’d always go wt each other wherever, to the bathroom, parking lot if we left something in the car. I understand though, everyone isn’t raised the same smh. If you ever need to talk or vent I’m here!
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