I’m very new to this and just seeking out others with similar stores for support and success stories.
I had a seemingly normal pregnancy up until the 19th week.
Prior I was active, excited to be having a boy, ready to bring a bundle of joy into the world and elated to share this with my partner.
On the 19th week mark I had a routine scheduled ultrasoundBy my self due to the hospitals covid standards (which was the normal in my pregnancy sadly) in which the tech called the Dr and advised him that I have a short funneling cervix. I was immediately placed on strict bed rest with progesterone suppositories to hopefully help keep baby in.
A whopping 5 weeks later we hit the 24 week mark, and exactly 5 days later I stared to randomly bleed. My spouse and I sped to the ER where I was admitted and transferred to a higher level of care due to the fact that I was dilated 3cm.
I was immediately put on magnesium and given steroid shots to help the babies lungs mature. As I was being transferred to the higher level of care hospital I was told that I would need a covid test. I wasn’t worried at all because I was on bed rest and only saw my spouse also had zero symptoms and legitimately was sick over 5 years ago. With saying all this my test came back positive. I was devastated, this meant I couldn’t have my spouse next to me during this terrifying experience. To add salt to the wound my antibodies were negative and my spouse tested negative.
This nightmare of uncertainty went on for 5 days, not able to eat for 2 day incriminates because of various medications, alone, scared, wishing and praying that my son would stay in, having monitors and IVs hooked up to me, enduring no sleep, having contractions and 3 scares. To then give birth to at 25 weeks and 3 days. I was alone minus hospital staff and gave birth to be in a room filled with silence and getting a 10 second glimpse of my child to have my micro preemie be whisked off with the NICU.
Unfortunately due to that positive covid test we had to wait 12 days to see our son. When the day finally came to see him we were over loaded with information and seeing our baby for the first time hooked up to a bunch of monitors, ventilator, bruised up, very purple, extremely bony, loosing weight and with an array of obstacles that were being told to us.
It’s currently our 17th day, he has then been off the vent twice to be put back on it, had 2 blood transfusions, countless blood draws, weight loss and weight gain, pda interventions and blood gas roller coasters.
It’s hard to find a light as I know this is a roller coaster but the times that we leave the hospital are becoming harder and harder. The feeling of wanting to hold my baby is overwhelming and even worse wanting my baby to not have to go through all of this is filling me with enormous amounts of guilt.
Hello, I just wanted to send you strength during this very difficult situation. Seeing your newborn baby in the NICU is one of the most difficult things ever. It takes a lot of strength and courage but you are his mom and you will find it!
Matias mom thank you. It comes in waves
Hi there- my story is quite similar to yours as far as I found out at 20 weeks that I had a shortened cervix and two weeks later was put on progesterone (never bed rest). The next week I was feeling lower abdominal and back pain and when I went to the hospital to get checked out I was 3cm dilated at 23 weeks and 1 day. The prognosis sounded terrible. I was able to hold my baby girl in for another 8 days before she turned breach and I was so far dilated that I had to have an emergency c-section. While I didn’t have covid, I will tell you that both my husband and I were overwhelmed with tears and nausea seeing this insanely tiny human covered in tubes and monitors shortly after. It was almost too much to bear. It’s been just shy of three weeks and I am handling it a bit better but to say it’s a daily rollercoaster would be an understatement. We found out today she will most likely need a procedure to close the hole in her heart that requires anesthesia and scares me half to death. But they believe it’s the best thing for her. I will say she’s a fighter and has overcome so many hurdles already that I have no choice but to believe she will come out of this OK. But mentally just knowing the length of this journey we are on, it’s really hard to find peace with it all. Most days I’m upbeat. Some I feel completely guilty. I’m just hoping to find others to share my story with and find some support. It sounds like we will be on similar journeys.
NatashaRose wow! That’s insanely similar! We are currently battling the PDA too. Still pending the closure. What is your babies name? If you don’t mind id like to add her to my prayers. And how are you holding up today mamma? What day are they thinking to do the surgery?
I’m in the same boat as you, some days seem to be ok and others seem to be rough to bare and the guilt is something I’m no stranger of either.
Love you gurl you and your family are definitely in my prayers I had the same exact issues and had my rainbow baby at 25 weeks 1day and now he’s 33 weeks today and doing so amazing
Wow, my story was very similar. I went to my scan on Thursday July 23rd and they told me I had a short cervix and to keep taking progesterone and I can keep doin my normal activities. On Monday night I was having what I thought was cramps but ended up being contractions. I then went to the bathroom and as I was cleaning myself I felt something hard(my membranes). I called my husband and we rushed to the hospital when I got there they told me I was 9centimenters dilated. They gave me steroids and magnesium for the baby’s little lungs. I was in the hospital for 4 days trying to keep my little guy in on Thursday morning I could no longer wait as the contractions were very strong and told my nurse I was ready for epidural. My little guy arrived Thursday at 1:57 pm. He was born 1 lb 6 ounces. I was extremely scared seeing him with all the wires and vents to help him breathe. Just two weeks ago they did a procedure to close his Pda both me and my husband were so terrified as we couldn’t be in the room with him. Yesterday we got the great news that his pda is now closed . After his pda closed he is gaining weight and is now 2 lbs and 8 ounces. I am terrified every day but my little man is 6 weeks now and God is with me every step of the way.
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