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My baby girl, Alice, was born healthy on 16 September 2021. I had to do a c-section because she was breach.  I didn't have breastmilk and also struggled to feed her formula.  My husband amd motjer inlaw did most of the caring for her, as i was in alot of pain after the operation.  The night before she died (she died on 20 September 2021) was the first time that i had her to myself  and it sank in that she was mine and it was the forst time that i felt like a mother. The next day we took her to see the doctor to find out what we can give her for the wind and to find out why she won't eat.  She was healthy but doctor told us to use a formula that is more comforting to her stomach and gave us a perscription.  About 3 hours later she died. I took a nap next to her for a few min. When i woke up she had brown stuff coming out of her mouth amd nose. I panicked and tried to get it out by sucking it out, i tasted sweet, i calldd the doctor that is 2 blocls from our house, he came whithin 2min.  The doctor took her and placed her in his car and tried to save her. But it was too late, as the days went by i have realized that she was already gone when i woke up. The doctor said the brown stuff was amniotic fluid, a valve went into spasm or something.  Stugeling to believe thatbit happened, my body is the only reminder that it realy did happen amd that i had a baby that is mow gone.  She was mine, my responsibility and i failed her.