My baby girl, Alice, was born healthy on 16 September 2021. I had to do a c-section because she was breach. I didn't have breastmilk and also struggled to feed her formula. My husband amd motjer inlaw did most of the caring for her, as i was in alot of pain after the operation. The night before she died (she died on 20 September 2021) was the first time that i had her to myself and it sank in that she was mine and it was the forst time that i felt like a mother. The next day we took her to see the doctor to find out what we can give her for the wind and to find out why she won't eat. She was healthy but doctor told us to use a formula that is more comforting to her stomach and gave us a perscription. About 3 hours later she died. I took a nap next to her for a few min. When i woke up she had brown stuff coming out of her mouth amd nose. I panicked and tried to get it out by sucking it out, i tasted sweet, i calldd the doctor that is 2 blocls from our house, he came whithin 2min. The doctor took her and placed her in his car and tried to save her. But it was too late, as the days went by i have realized that she was already gone when i woke up. The doctor said the brown stuff was amniotic fluid, a valve went into spasm or something. Stugeling to believe thatbit happened, my body is the only reminder that it realy did happen amd that i had a baby that is mow gone. She was mine, my responsibility and i failed her.
Hi I'm truly sorry for you loss. I lost my son recently( two days ago) and what makes it worse for me is that I was only 26 weeks into my pregnancy. I felt him move for so long that when he stopped everyone around me including my doctor said that they don't move frequently at this stage. But when I went in for my scan they could not find a heart beat. I am still blaming myself for not trusting in my concerns and trying to save my baby boy.
Just know that you did your best and you could never fail her. Your her mom and just being that speaks more than one moment you could not control. Failing some one is not trying at all. You did your best and that all anyone can ask for. That is all our kids want an I know she would want you to know that it was never your fault