I had to share this letter my husband wrote. I think it just describes everything we've been through so well and it gives the point of view of what a father/husband goes through. He was hesitant at first about me posting it but finally gave me the go ahead. So here it is:
Wow what a powerful letter. It is obvious to me that you have a strong husband, what a strong father to be able to put all of those emotions into words.
Please thank him for sharing that with us, I may have to pass that one to other bereaved parents.
Oh NIcole, the courage of your husband to share these intimate words... I'm in awe. The voice of dads is too frequently silent- and not because they don't have things to say. Please extend thanks to your husband from I think safe to say every mom who reads this and brings her partner over to read with her and opens channels of communication.
WOW, just wow! Thank you so much for sharing that with us! Thank him and give him a big hug!
Wow. So many thanks to you and your husband for sharing that with us. So many times we say men grieve differently, and I think outwardly they often do. But it's clear from your husband's words, that put so beautifully into writing so many of my own feelings, that our husband's are dealing with all the same feelings we face. I'm not even sure how to say how moved I was by this post. Thank you again for sharing this.
Nicole, Please thank your husband for sharing such a very intimate and powerful letter with all of us. I will be sharing it with Jerry. I think that it will help him to know that he is not alone in his feelings. Many of the emotions your husband describes are things that we have discussed as well. Especially when Jer had to return to work and I didn't. I always felt like it had to be so hard for him to have to face everyone at his office being "the guy who lost a baby". I asked him about it one day and he told me that people lives depended on him being focused and he felt sometimes like if he didn't push her out of his mind he was going to take someone elses child away and that made him feel guilty. It was so difficult for him. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us.
Sincere thanks to you and your husband for sharing this.
I've been so worried about how my husband is coping and I have been struggling to find ways to help (or at least not hinder) him. This letter may be the opener we needed to get a better understanding of how we each feel.
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