My trip to Tampa was worse than we thought it could be. The only highlight was we got a few days of sunny warm weather before flying home to snow and windchills below zero. brrr it's cold here!
My relationship is basically over with my inlaws. After the way they treated us and they spoke to me...I can only withstand so much "abuse" and I'm now done. I have put up with a lot over the years but this trip was the last straw when we spent money to go down there and help them and they still were ungrateful among other things.
But there is one thing that My MIL actually said that has stuck with me. We were talking one night early in the trip before it all went down hill. We were talking about C and Scott. I could tell that she really missed Scott even when she never got to meet him. That surprised me I didn't think that she felt that way, she even told us how she was so happy we had the chance to have Scott and know him. Once again very surprising to me. Then we started talking about C and what he is doing in school. I said how they are starting the family unit and how I'm nervous for him. Not sure what he will say. How we tell him it's okay to talk about Scott and that he has a brother. This is when Kaye said something very impacting to me. She said that Scott may be something special to C that he doesn't want to share. That he wants to keep to himself. I never looked at it that way. There are time my husband and I don't want to share scott with others. I never really thought that C may feel the same. So it has actually made me feel better about C starting his family unit at school and know that it's okay if he chooses not to talk about him. C is very gentle, compassionate, and intuitive. He may choose that it's not the place to share his brother and that's okay.
Funny how someone can say something so profound to you and them make you so angry to the point were the relationship can be broken for good.
That is very profound. I am sorry that things with the inlaws didn't work out well. I had hoped that the trip would be good. I am glad you found something positive from the trip. As you move past this situation focus on the positive or insightful moments like the one you just shared. The other negative stuff, wash it out of your system and out of your life. Giant hugs!
Even if everything else went straight down hill, that is a great piece of insight to take from the visit. I hope that C will feel comfortable enough to share or not share as he feels is right. I can't imagine how difficult it is for a child to navigate the loss that we can barely process ourselves.
I had high hopes that your trip would mend some fences. I am really sorry that it didn't. I do like what she said about C and his brother being special to him. Having an older child who processes her grief very differently than mine I can relate to this. I hope that things return to normal quickly and as always we are always here.
I'm so sorry to hear of the relationship with your in-laws. Glad that you were able to take that one profound statement, however. Sending peace your way and to C as he starts the family unit at school and decides whether or not to share Scott. Either way will be the right choice for him.
Oh, I'm so sorry that the trip went downhill. I was really hoping that this trip would be a chance to fix some things, and that really was a very nice thing you and your husband did to go and help.
Well, that was very good insight that you received before the trip went bad, it does make sense that C wouldn't share Scott with everyone all the time. I am sure that he knows how special it is to have a baby brother, and he can share about him as he feels comfortable.
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