So it's been quite the journey learning to live our new normal over the past 2 years. I broke into a million pieces and had to figure out a way to put them back together that worked for me. My husband never really got to grieve properly because he stepped up and did what needed to be done around the house etc while I was going through my thing plus he had to go back to work. He had a tough time adjusting because many friends would not talk about it and would change the subject if he brought Scott up so that caused my husband to just avoid any and all social situations and he just lost interest in everything.
Well it's taken over a year but my husband is" back!" He has found a hobby. Has made a friend at work and they both have the same hobby so they are hanging out after work. and to top it off my husband is now ready for social situations. He has even planned a mardi Gras party for next weekend. which he is planning I have had no part in it a nice change. it's nice to have him "back" His good friend just had a baby boy this past weekend and he is really cool with it. ( so am I. I had a little twinge of sadness but then was just happy for them) My husband has even invited them to the party which is another huge step for the both of us. We really haven't put our self in situations were we would be around baby boys.
Our lives are not what they were before Scott but we are finding a way to make a life that works for us. I find that has time goes by it gets easier for lack of a better way of describing it. But then also get a little sad because time is going by and I don't ever want go forget him. It's a weird place to be in. But it's nice to know that my husband and I are now in the same place. It's been a lot of patience and leaning on one another and lots of talking with one another and a therapist to get to this new spot in our lives.
This blog post made me smile. It is so hard sometimes to help those we love along the journey we are on especially when we are carrying our own weight of grief. Part of what helps is knowing that our spouse or significant other is learning to breathe again. I can't even tell you how much I can relate to what you just wrote. I am so happy for you guys! I am so happy your husband has found a hobby and the fog is lifting. Have a wonderful Mardi Gras party. Giant hugs and special happy wishes for you both!
When time continues to move on after our losses...sometimes we want to fight it - kicking and screaming. We don't want to be far away from that day - because even though it was so painful - it was when we were WITH our little loves who we lost. But time moves. We can't control that. We move with it. Finding that new normal is a complex task. It takes time, and a lot of energy. I'm so glad to hear that your husband is finding his new normal and learning to enjoy things/people again.
Hope the Mardi Gras party is fun!! :)
Hugs I always say with time we do not forget them we just learn how to live as mommy'e and Daddy's of an angels all the tears and that we learn to say their names and smile instead of cry! BUT in no way does our lack of tears define how much we miss and love them.
hugs to you dear friend! have fun at your party wish I lived closer :)
I am so glad that you have your husband "back". This is something that Jer and I have struggled with as well. We had to learn how to live and love each other again because after Arianna died we became new people. There is so much to this journey that we all still don't know. I hope the mardi gras party goes well and you guys have a good time.
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