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This has been an interesting week with highs and lows.  I started the week with an interview for a part time position to be an assistant teacher for some of preschool classes with our Recreation and Parks program.  Today I got a call and they offered me a job and it's two days a week in the mornings and the program is at my son's school.  So it is very near my houses and  on those days I can just drive C to school.  I am excited because I wanted to do this to start easing back into the workplace and to give me something to do while C is in school since so I don't sit at home and mope.  I only wanted a a couple days so I could still volunteer in his classroom once a week and get errands done as well.  So I think this is a good stepping stone for me to start adjusting once again to a big change in my life.

C had a playdate at his school playground today with other Kindergartners and it made my heart happy to see him playing and meeting new friends.  This is something new for him intiating play with others.  I have been seeing so much growth with him this summer.  Observing today I know he is going to love school.  This is what I tell myself as we get closer and closer to the date of the first day...Just thinking about him getting on that school bus in the morning and me not seeing him till late afternoon everyday....it's making me a wreck.  So I don't think about it and of course I looked a the calendar this past Monday and it was like a brick dropping from the sky and when I say just how close the first day is looming.

Tuesday C has his dentist appointment to get his teeth cleaned.  I knew he had a few cavities they were watching in the molars.  I knew there was one that was starting to bother him.  Well guess who has to have 5 cavities fixed in the next few weeks...they have to be fixed because they have gotten worse and are in the molars which you don't lose right away.  First let me say how horrible I felt as a mom that my kid has 5 cavities that need to be fixed!  I clarified with the dentist that he doesn't eat that much sugar, or chewy things.  They asked about juices/gatorade.  I said occasionally but he prefers to drink water.  Even when we go out to eat he will order water as his beverage.  Unfortanutely some kids are just prone to cavities and my son is that kid.   It also doesn't help that he has no room in his mouth for his current teeth so that also can cause bacteria build up.  So then I have to have the conversation with the Dentist of how do we fix them....the choices being laughing gas( he would be too wiggly). mild sedation ( gasp! but doable) and hospitalization and full anesthesia ( no way unless it's absoutely necessary!)  So my child will be getting a mild sedation that should make him sleep and then they numb his mouth and work on the cavities.  Being that he has so many cavities this entails up to  3-4 visits.  Depending on how he does with the first visit.  The first one the doctor is going to try and knock out the cavities on the left side of his mouth.  If he does well they may be able to consolidate and do the other cavities in less visits.  So I get to watch my child be giving sedatives and have cavities fixed.  One I HATE the dentist, two I don't like my child has to go through this.  It's makes me anxious.  Any procedure no matter how small with anyone I love or care about makes me a basket case now since losing Scott.  So I'm in the dentist office  trying to process everything and feeling overwhelmed.  I am the type of person that I need time to take everything in and process...and trying not to cry at the pediatric dentist office.  Because my emotions now get the best of me with every little thing...( and since the office doesn't know my back story )  and then billing calls me over to go over what my out of pocket expenses will be.  I kept it together.  Did not burst into tears...not sure how I didn't ...but I did.  I told myself that this is nothing compared to what some children go through healthwise that if this is the worst thing... 

Oh and the other great thing about this ( insert sarcasm here)  School starts in two weeks.  Guess who will be missing up to 4 days of school at the beginning of the school year?  Since he goes in the morning for each visit and then has to spend the rest of the day at home and sleep off his procedure...so On Sept. 5 he will already be missing a day of school and missing at least 2 other days.  If I had known....I would have made his dentist appt in July so we could have knocked some of this out in the summer.

 add to this drama with the inlaws....and that's been my week. 

But hey I got a job! (even if my take home pay is "pennies") =)

And we had an awesome weekend last week we took c to Diggerland.  such an excited happy boy he was.