My really good friend who has been by my side through it all and is just awesome her daughter turns 1 this weekend. I love her daughter and she was the first baby I held since everything happened with Scott. my friend found out she was pregnant the day that Scott was born yet it did not stop her from being there for me when I needed it. I could not imagine going to a baby's funeral while pregnant yet she did. She waited until she absoutely had to tell me about her pregnancy and then just simply said I'm pregnant and left it at that. it wasn't till a few months later that I called her and said what;s the due date? She let me ask for the information knowing it would be hard. What a great friend and so special to me. I have been excited about my little pals birthday. My friend jokes than me and her daughter A our bff's. =) I've been helping prepare some things for her party. Then it hit me today I'm going to a first birthday. Once again it's another first that I have to get through...I haven't been to a first birthday since Scott passed away. Then I started thinking about how Scott never had one etc. and you all know the road our thoughts leads us down. I'm still happy about A 's party but now there is that thought in the back of my head the what should of been. How Scott should be there too.
The firsts I really hate the firsts they just are so hard and then it's seems to be smooth sailing after you get through it..
The firsts are so hard... it's a lot of reality to wade through all at once.. and so often brings all those "could/should have beens" to the surface.
I'll be thinking of you as you navigate yet another aspect of the new normal.
You are so right. The "firsts" are definitely the hardest to navigate through. Unfortunately nothing about this road is even remotely easy. After 5 years I have come to the realization that nothing surprises me anymore. I always think that I have a handle on things and then something jumps out and throws me for a loop. Thinking of you and sending you hugs as you navigate yet another "first".
Oh yes - the firsts are all hard. And there are SO many firsts. It's not until we go through all of the first that we realize just how many there are.
I'm glad that you have this friend and that she's been so supportive of you.
Thinking of you,
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