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There are times I just want to wear a shirt that says June is bad for me back off...and yes I will be irrational for the next few weeks.  The one place I really don't want to be near or in during June is a doctors office or hospital.  My sons well check visit every year since Scott died I have made for July.  No docctors, no position to be in a place to hear bad news from doctors.  That's were I am in June sounds crazy but it is what it is.  I realized over the weekend my asthma medication was out and I had no refills.  I called the doctor today she has refilled this medication many times for me.  But since I haven't been in there in a while I get to go to the doctor today.  I'm not happy about this and just wish she could refill it.  and I see her next month if needed.

Things with my husbands family are interesting....me the SAHM/teacher managed to put the great Lt. Colonel in his place with the letter I sent.  Since my BIL decided to drag me into it in I  Went.  It felt good to finally be able to say my piece.  I wrote a very honest letter to my SIL.  I was trying to talk woman to woman, mom to mom, two people whose lives got turned upside down with one conversation with a doctor. Hers being the diagnoses she got of her son being autistic and me well you know my story.  I told her how she is the one person in either side of the family who gets it.  Who we should be able to share and talk.  I told her how our boys should be hanging out they have no living siblings but how cousins can be just as good. I told her how it hurts that they only ever see us when they are obligated to for family events.  I set her straight on why her brother is angry.  and then I also let her know that it wasn't right to send those emails on her brothers birthday, that she is too never throw her brothers relationship with his sons in his face ever again.  That until she had to make decisions to pull her child off of life support don't go there.  I reminded her that she knows we all know how her parents can twist things around to make themselves look like the victim a reminder to not always believe what they say.  I got no response from her instead her husband responded.  But I feel like I was victourious because I got exactly 3 sentence replied and that was it.  He did not counter anything I said because they know everything I said was true.  I had also put in my email if this is just going to continue as a battle of whose right and back and forth then please leave us alone this month we will pick up in July.  He agreed.  I got him to actually concede.  

Then My husband spoke to his parents over the weekend...oh poor poor Uncle Bob he is going through hell...we just don't understand.  He is the wealthy one of the family who claimed the price of airline tickets as the reason of not coming to Scott's funeral.  He just got divorced his wife finally had enough of his bs.  and we should feel bad for him because he acted like a horrible human being for the past 40 years of his marriage.  then we got a bunch of bs on Mike's sister.  Mike realizes now his sister is a master manipulator.    I am done I have told my husband I am done.  I am the one who sends the gifts, cards, pictures etc.  I have told my husband he is in charge of all that now.  I told him if he chooses to keep communication/relationships with these people we will decided together how much we allow Colin to in a relationship people with this people.  I don't want Colin being part of toxic relationships where he is guilted etc.  My husband goes to a therapist tonight to talk and figure things out.  I think he is looking for permission for someone outside of our family to say it's okay that your done.  I really thinks he wants to be done but is having a guilt over it.

On another note we had a really good day on Scott's Birthday.  We took C to Mount Vernon.  and he LOVED IT!  He has been very interested in George Washington since learning about him at school.  He was so engaged, so excited.  It was a good family day.