Living my new normal

C's first visit to the Grave site

  • I'm sorry. Many hugs and a lot of love.

  • Reading this brought me to tears.  I remember vividly when Jadon really started to process the loss of his sister and all that goes along with is.  I love that Colin wanted to take flowers to Scott.  They sure are wise beyond their years.  Hugs to you all!    


  • Sending you guys lots of hugs. I still have trouble finding the right words to use when talking to my girls. I always hope that it will get easier but it just never does.


  • Nicki - I struggle so much with this too.  It doesn't sound like you botched the conversation.  I think we kind of learn as we go with this one.  Sometimes I've have to end the conversation too quickly because I can't handle more at the moment, sometimes   I've said things that I realize I shouldn't have said later (one time I said Randi died because she was very sick...that made Hunter worried that he would die when he got sick, but we later had the opportunity to clarify and now we say she was too small to survive, which seems to sit ok with Hunter), but ultimately as long as we keep talking and letting our other kids talk, I think its ok.  I also say that cemetery is a special spot to remember people who died.  We have not told the boys that Randi is buried there, we say its a special spot we can go to think about her and feel close to her.

    It is so sweet that Colin wanted to bring flowers to Scott.  



  • I am so sorry that your family had to go through that on Easter Sunday and that it was painful. At the same time while I was reading this post I saw a very beautiful image in my mind of a family loving and grieving for a missing member and a little boy who is sweet and kind and giving. I think that your conversations with him are helping him because he seems to have a very firm understanding of how to act and what to do. I too have had these same discussions with my 6 year old about her sister that died before she was born. She always says that she loves her and that she wishes she could play with her.

    Love and Hugs,


  • This story brought tears to my eyes. You're right that these are questions you should not have to answer at Colin's young age, but you handled it well. Sometimes I think that children's hearts are so pure that they understand death in a way we just can't as adults. It's natural that he should take flowers to remember Scott. So simple, yet for us there are so very many complicated emotions in this simple act.

    Big hugs (loving the image of a family hug)


  • I really love the way you explained it to him. It was really sweet of him to want to bring his little brother a balloon and some flowers:) I love that you do family hugs!

    More hugs,


  • Wow, I can totally relate to this story. Last summer we also took our boys to the cemetery to finally see their other brothers gravestone. Our 1 year old passed out sleeping in the car so it was just my husband and I and our 5 year old. it was much more emotional than I was expecting but I think it was really good for him. Since he's been five he has been talking a ton about his brother in heaven. It is always a difficult conversation. Sounds like you are handling your sons questions great. Sending thoughts your way!