Living my new normal


  • You sit on your soap box as long as you need... many people here know how much I hate/fear change.   Just one breath at a time and eventually everything will fall into place, well thats what I keep telling myself!  



  • I totally understand the teaching much extra takes the fun out of a fun job!!!  One of the speakers at Shareunion last year talked about how sometimes parents who have suffered a loss feel the need to control everything because they had no control over what happened with their baby.  I thought that was so true of myself!!!  I want everything to stay the same and be like I need it to be.  I like the idea of the buff mom wearing workout clothes!!!  Let me know if you do that cause I want before and after pics----and I'll be jealous!!!



  • there is one problem with my plan on becoming buff...I like chocolate too much!   I can finish a bag of hershey kisses quicker than one probably should....;p  and french fries or even better cheese fries...I love junk food!

  • mmm...french fries! :) *sigh* one of the hardest things after our loss is having to learn to deal with our "new" lives. Pretty much everything that we knew changes, including ourselves. It is so hard to make people understand that you simply just don't get over having to say goodbye to your child and you can't simply make another one to replace what you have lost. I think as grieving parents of babies we are in a harder position because there is this false misconception that we did not love our children as much because we knew them for less time. We all know this as completely false of course but it is so hard to break that stigma. I got into a semi-heated debate one time with a woman about this issue and I told her that she needed to present her youngest child for sacrifice. She looked at me with her mouth gaping open. I told her that I had went ahead and chosen her youngest child for her (maybe 3 years old) because since he was the youngest I knew that she did not love him as much as her older son so it would be easier for her to let him go. She told me how ridiculous was and that she loves both of her children equally. I told her that I had made my point. I felt bad for being so rude but at the same time I didn't. I get tired of people thinking that my daughter was less than a person because she was born early.

    Now for the pre-school debacle. I'm having the same issue with Keira. Although I opted to wait another year and just work with her at home. I just can't stand to be away from her. I'm awful I know. Do you happen to have a local March of Dimes chapter near you guys? I spend a few days a week volunteering at ours and I love it. It helps me get out of the house and interact with adults. Ours always seems to need extra help. Especially around March for Babies time. I've done everything from confirming food for the event to making team packets to folding t-shirts! It's very rewarding and could help fill the gap of time while C is at school. Plus if your office is like mine we always have chocolate on hand!