It still amazes me that all the crazy thoughts I can have ( and there can be many on any given day) that I can talk to someone from Share and find out they have the same thoughts. How this makes me feel "normal" and breathe easier knowing that I haven't quite going over the edge yet.
Seeing everyone this weekend and talking to everyone and me just being able to say, "Me too!" and to feel that relief of okay not crazy after all. Someone mentioned the anxiety they had of traveling to Az and the fear of what if something happens to me and I leave my child motherless. The relief I felt that once again I'm not alone in this journey and with my anxious thoughts.
It was so nice seeing everyone and I felt like I knew what I was doing and knew everyone this being my second Shareunion! I was not a newbie anymore I knew what to expect. =) Being with people who just truly understand. One of my favorite parts of the weekend was during the slide show when my living son Colin got acknowledged as a brother. It just made me really happy, Yes he is a big brother not in the sense as others are. He's never worn the big brother shirt or played with his brother, or wrestled with him. So to see that just made me happy.
Flying home I was so proud of myself for having stepped out of my comfort zone and flew across the country to be a part of this event. I am one who can get very comfortable in her routines and everyday life that I have established. I was like this long before Scott was born. and since losing Scott once I started adjusting to my new normal and getting back into a routine I started getting comfortable again and was closing myself even more into my everyday routines than before. But after attending my first Shareunion I realized that I needed to do more and push myself to try different things. and I have been trying and doing things here and there I normally wouldn't do. Flying home from AZ I realized that this is what Scott has given me. I don't get to hug and kiss him everyday, sing to him or read to him. I don't get the little handmade pictures from him or him telling me he loves me as much as...but he is giving me the courage to do different things to try things even if it does make me anxious and scared. He has taught me with his short life that life is short and you have to embrace it. So this is what I try to do. It may not be grand the things that I have been doing but they are for me and I do it not only for me but for Scott. I know that he is there every step of the way whenever I see a butterfly. It's like he is letting me know he is there.
I am so thankful you came out of you comfort zone and joined us in AZ! I am thankful for your friendship. I am thankful for we have found a place where "me too" help heal the heart!
I am glad that I got to see you at SU. I agree with you. My academic achievements I do for Allison. I think that doing things for them is what makes us moms, well besides the carrying them in our womb. I am glad that you had a good weekend. I hope I see you next year. Hugs.
I loved seeing you again this year! Going to ShareUnion is in itself a huge step out of anyone's comfort zone. I had no idea you had flying anxiety too. I am so glad that you overcame those to join us!
Nicole, I am so glad that you stepped out of your comfort zone, got on the plane, and flew to AZ for such an amazing weekend! I felt the same way when I flew to my first SU in 2010. Afterwards, I felt a huge kick in the pants to get out more and live life once again. It wasn't going to be easy. At that point, I was still very much on survival mode and chugging along for D and T. There was guilt in wanting to do more in a way, but I realized that there was still so much life to live and I had to do it the best I could for our angel.
You GO girl for getting on that plane! Do it again next year too, okay?
It is not easy to get to the place where you can be grateful for what has come out of your loss, but it is a good place to be. It doesn't mean that you still won't feel sadness about what you lost, but it means that you are integrating the loss into your life in a healthy way, and looking at what gifts it has brought you.
It's so great that you stepped out of your comfort zone to fly all the way to AZ to spend the weekend at SU. It's always a meaningful experience. I missed being there and seeing everyone, but I do hope to make it next year.
This weekend would not have been the same without you and even though I would wish with all of my wishes for you to never have known that Share existed I am so very happy to have you as my friend. I feel very honored to have been able to recognize Colin as Scott's big brother. To be honest I have never thought of him any other way. Lots of hugs as you dive back into your routines.
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
Privacy, Terms, and Notices
© Privacy, terms and notices