I had someone in my life who I thought was a friend. She has a boy is the same age as C and a boy who is a year older. Her daughter is two weeks older than Scott. She was always nice and the type of person who would go out of her way to help you. Well rewind back to two years ago to the August after Scott died. She was hosting playgroup the one our boys were in. She had decided to combine it with her daughters playgroup the one Scott would have been a part of. I wrote a very nice email asking that in the future could the playgroups not be combined explaining how it was very hard for me to be a part of a group that I know Scott should be a part of but I didn't think it was fair C had to miss his playgroup with his friends because of this. Well she had written back she was sorry and some other stuff. Ever since then she has been very aloof with me and really has distanced herself. This is one of those people that I am going to see a lot off she lives in walking distance of me and my son goes to school with her boys and he is sandwiched him between them in grades. So we are going to see a lot of each other. Yet every time she sees me she acts like she doesn't see me and beelines for the farthest point from me.
Today I was watching my friends daughter and took her to story time at the library. this person was there. Her son went to sit in front of us and she told him lets sit over there where there is more room and the whole time is acting like she doesn't see me. It's so highschool...Usually I give her a big smile and say hi to her when I see her at school etc just because than she is forced to say hi to me before she scurries away but I don't get what happened? Is it really just because I politely asked her not to combine playgroups? My husband says she seem like the type that is friendly until you "call" her on something and then she turns on you. I guess so although technically I never "called her out" on anything I just made a simple request...All I know is she was at my son's funeral and was crying the most out of anyone to the point of almost hysterics. So I thought she would understand where I was coming from. But than again she also brought her three week old infant to my infant's funeral.
I don't need to be friends with her but I feel like we are going to be part of each other's life and should at least act like adults. Do I say something or just continue the way I've been and when I see her being the better person saying hello and than just going about my business?
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. How good of a friend was she beforehand? You see her often, huh? Urgh, stay being the better person if you have the energy for it. You could always go for a bit over the top and make her feel uncomfortable for a change. For example, "Hey, there you are so and so! Here we are again at such and such. Are you stalking me?! I'm always running into you!" Be really loud about it, make a scene if you want. Maybe add something like, "Hey, it's been awhile since we had a play date for C." Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge. Just see how she responds/reacts.
I am not sure what to do. I can tell you what I would do but that's not always the "right" thing or what's right for someone else. But it's all I have to offer.
I would let it and her go. I'd politely wave to her from a distance when I saw her, but I wouldn't push anything beyond that. In our journey, I've lost several people from my life. But, I've also gained some really strong friendships too. I choose those friendships. That is where I invest my time, energy, and love.
I'm sorry that she's acting this way. I don't know if that answers your question any. However you choose to handle the situation... I have your back :)
I am really sorry that someone whom was supposed to be your friend has become so flaky. I really don't have any good advice on how to handle her. I would probably just continue to be polite and just say hi in passing and let it be. You are such a wonderful person and deserve people in your life that actually want to be there.
This is such a tough situation. I hate conflict myself so I'd probably just keep going the way you have been. Is it going to change her behavior if you talk to her about it? Probably not. I imagine she'll claim that she's not avoiding you and that you're imagining it. Which would make me feel worse than I did before.
I hope you have better friends with whom you can get together and spend time. Sure, you'll see this woman for years, but that doesn't mean you have to be friends with her.
Best of luck,
Awe Nicole, I'm so sorry. What an odd situation as you will of course run into her for years.
I agree with the other ladies that I'd just wave to her maybe and that's it. She is not worth your time or energy.
But of course that is easier said than done as you keep seeing her.
Oh what a hard situation. Even though you could continue just politely saying hello now and then, you still be with that doubt of what went wrong. Do you have any friend in common that might know what happen or that you could politely ask if she knows what went wrong or tell you if they are just things you notice ? Probably is the other way around, maybe she feels like she offended you some way and thinks you are upset with her. I don't like confrontation either, but I like things straight so if you don't have a common friend, I would ask her straight if there is something that matter? or did you offend her in someway, so at least you know what went wrong and continue politely just saying hello.
Sounds like she's kind of like your husband said.....or that she's embarrassed that she didn't think of that herself. I think I would continue to be polite and speak to her and if she wants to continue with the silliness then that's her issue. You're being the mature adult....her loss!
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