For whatever reason I continue to be shocked and angered by things my inlaws do...I really shouldn't be. My husbands sister claimed being in the middle of a move as a reason not to come to Scott's Funeral. Yet she is in the middle of another move this June ( they are military) and finding time to go to a cousin's wedding. My MIL who has not made an effort to see her grandson and has been guilting him yest guilting a 5 year old on not visiting is also going to this wedding. My SIL who has lived just a few states away for the past 3 years as not even tried to visit us even though our boys are only 8 months apart. This cousin that is getting married is a selfish, spoiled brat. The last few times over the years we have been around her she hadn't even said hello to us. it's been at least 3 years since anyone in the family has spoken to her if not more. The wedding invites were pure obligatory they want no one on my husbands side of the family there. Yet my husbands family is jumping through hoops to go out to Chicago for this wedding. Why can my SIL in the middle of a move travel to a wedding were they are not wanted but couldn't come and be here for her brother 3 years ago when he was burying his child? Why is it my husband had more coworkers at his sons funeral then he did family? The only family at Scott's funeral being his parents. and I recently found out the reason they left right after the funeral literally after the reception got in car and left the state was because his mom wanted to go to her favorite place Williamsburg. Who goes off for a mini vacation after being at their grandson's funeral?
I was so angry when I found out that my husbands family was going to this wedding I was shaking. I wanted to pick up the phone and have a little chat with my SIL. I am angry for my husband. Watching the hurt that this is causing him. I am angry and saddened to finally 100% realize that Scott does not matter to my inlaws. They have never and will never consider him part of the family.
I am angry because this is happening now. This is are bad time of year. This is the time of year that I start preparing myself for the "storm" of emotions that is to come, the memories, the dreams I have when I do actually sleep in the month of June. This the time of year were I have all my boys birthdays in one week starting on Monday. My husbands birthday, the next day Colin's, and then 3 days later Scott's.
I am ready for a fight and hope my husbands family has enough sense to not call her anytime in the next few days. I won't screen calls...I've had enough of turning the other cheek. I have asked my husband that we not talk to his family during the Month of June and he agrees. He is upset, hurt, angry, and I think may be finally through with his sister. She may have pushed it a little too far this time.
Not how I wanted to start to June...I was actually looking forward to Mike's and Colin's birthday for the first time in 3 years.
I relate so much to this. Many hugs. I can't tell you anything that you don't already know. I'm sorry they are this way. Much love to you.
Oh my. I'm so very sorry that his family are behaving like that. It's so frustrating when those who are supposed to be the ones to have your back and carry you through such horrible times just abandon you. There's no excuse for it. Sending love and hugs your way in the coming days.
I'm so sorry Nikki. This is something that Jerry and I have struggled with as well. Finally after a lot of soul searching and thinking about what is best for our family and our girls we had to cut some ties. In my family and Jer's. It has been painful but also a relief to eliminate the stress. I am thinking of you as June quickly approaches and sending many hugs.
I am so sorry that your in-laws are so selfish and insensitive to your struggle, particularly that of their own blood relative. On a positive note, maybe sharing here will help you get it out of your system by next week, and June will be better for you. So sorry that your in laws are like this.
Love and Hugs
Im so sorry youre dealing with insensitive people the loss of a child is very complicated. In laws especially tend to be the absolute worst in these types of situations my husband is some what distant from his family and his sisters accused me of killing my baby so I have an idea of what youre going through. Sometimes as angelmoms we need to accept that not everyone is going to understand our struggle because it is EXTREMELY PERSONAL its just something you need to go to through to truly understand you have every right to be upset with your husbands family just be patient because its very dffucult to not want to smack an insensitive idiot every once in a while ignore those people (hubbys family) and take care of you and yours.
Many hugs and peaceful vibes sent your way.
I am so sorry for all of it. I don't know why people do such insensitive things especially when someone is grieving the loss of their child. I read your family stuff and it reminds me so much of my own. We too came to the realization that we had to protect our hearts and not worry too much about relationships with others. It's hard. I think my parents are stunned that it's been more than 6 years since I've seen/conversed with my sister. Maybe this is really abrasive of me, but I definitely think it's a tad easier to write people off after a loss. Strange?
Hoping that you can keep the crazy away and embrace your June,
My hubby family is the same, always make the time for others but when it comes to giving us support there's always an excuse. I hope that one day your in-laws realize that Scott still matters and is very much still a part of the family also I hope that you get to enjoy June even on your emotional days. Remember you are bless with a wonderful husband and 2 great sons, one that's looking down on his family and the other you get to hug and spend time with.
Many hugs to u
Hugs to you, Nikki. The insensitivity of family astounds me -- even in my own situation. And I agree with the others that if you have to cut them out to save yourself the stress and hurt, then do it.
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
Privacy, Terms, and Notices
© Privacy, terms and notices