This June it will be 3 years since Scott died. As we get closer to June I find myself thinking more about it. I have a feeling that this June is going to be harder than last year. I have been thinking a LOT about scott lately and have been emotional more than usual. Colin had just turned 3 when Scott was born I don't know if it's because we are hitting another 3 year marker with Scott and that has me on edge or what. But I am just already getting anxious about things. Colin has always been my distraction in June. Because of the winter weather we had this year Colin's school year has extended to June 19 that's if we get the waivers they put in for. Of all the days for the last day of school to be on why June 19!" June 19 is my worst day it's the day I held and spoke to Scott for the last time, the day I planned his funeral, and the day he died. I usually get together with some friends and their children on that day and distract myself by hanging out with others. That is going to be hard to do with the last school day being on that date. Since all my friends kids have different start times for their schools. So they all will be getting out at different times with it being an early dimissal.
I do know the more distractions the busier I am the better I do in June. I am thinking about contacting C teachers in a few weeks and telling them that if they need a volunteer to do some filing, cutting, copying etc to help wrap up the school year to let me know and I will go in help.
To help me cope better with things this year we have decided to have Colin's party in the middle of May this year. I am hoping by not having it in June it will be easier on my emotions.
I took a huge step the other night. Once I decided to do it I had to do it that night. My poor husband was like can't wait till the weekend? We had turned Scott's room into a book room a few months after he died. It was C idea and a great one. It's were Colin sits and reads and does puzzles. It's were we sit as a family to play games. I have been quilting more lately and it's been hard having to put everything away after working on a project and when I want to work on a project find and clean a space. I decided the another night to rearrange the room so that I could dedicate a corner to my quilting. I set up a table and wet up my sewing machine. I am very excited about my new space. The room gets great light, it is a very calming space with the colors we painted it and I can sit in there and do my quilting without seeing the clutter of the rest of my house and worry about all the things I should be doing. It's a huge step for me because I never could have done this before now. But now it feels right and feels okay.
On another topic our team is doing well this year. Last year we weren't able to focus a lot of attention on fundraising with my mom being so ill and getting her liver transplant. We were a bit occupied with that. ( She just celebrated her 1 year anniversary!)
This year everyone in the family has some sort of fundraiser we are doing. I was in charge of the popcorn, C is doing is Poppin' Across the U.S.A. and Mike has been working on getting sponsors to donate. We have our MOD family kickoff tomorrow. and then in a few weeks we walk. Hopefully it will be sunny and warm by May....
Hooray for your mom's one year anniversary! I'm so glad that you don't have that to worry about any more. The quilting space sounds nice. I initially had trouble being in the room we had set up for the twins. It took a long time to be in there without thinking of it as their room. I'm so happy that it's a peaceful place for you.
I totally understand about wanting to be distracted on the 19th. It seems as though C's teachers would welcome a helper at that point in the year. I'm sorry that you can't be with your friends, though. Whatever you do, remember that even if we can't be with you physically, your Share sisters are with you in spirit.
The time leading up to an anniversary can be so difficult. Sometimes harder than the actual day itself. How frustrating that school is now due to let out on 6/19. It sounds like you're doing a good job of thinking of what will help you the most through these next 3 months, and focusing on planning ahead.
I love that you added a corner for quilting in Scott's room. What a lovely idea.
Glad to hear that Team Popcorn is doing well this year - and congratulations on your mom's 1 yr transplant anniversary! Hope she is doing well.
Sorry to hear that your anniversary is coming up. I always try to keep myself busy during those times too. I'm sure the teachers would welcome any help with end of the year activities! What a nice way to convert his room, sounds like a nice, calming, family room!
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