I was looking at a picture of Scott tonight and my arms just ached wanting to be able to hold him. I just really miss him. I find that I usually think of him as a baby and I just want to hold that baby again. Even though if he were here today he would be over a year old.
I find that Colin's school tends to make me think about him more and miss him more and we were there tonight for a movie night. I don't if it's because half his classmates have younger siblings or what...but it just makes me think at what should've been...
Oh huge hugs are being sent!
I can't imagine what it must be like to mourn for the baby you didn't get to hold long enough, while also knowing that if he were here now, he wouldn't be a baby any more but a busy one year old. You don't really know what experiences to mourn for, I suppose, as you don't know exactly what he would be like now...you never got that chance. :(
I'm so sorry that events like taking Colin to school make you miss him more. Many of the other kids at school have younger siblings, and of course Scott should be toddling along behind Colin as well.
We are here for you,
Love and comfort is coming your way. I am so sorry this is a tough time right now. I'm glad you came and let us know, though.
I'm wishing you comfort and peace,
The should have been are always the hardest. I found myself staring at a little girl about 7 years old at work the other day. (her parents probably thought I was a creeper) But watching her dance around twirling in her daddys hand felt like someone was ripping my heart out. I wish we had met under different circumstance. I wish I could change this for the both of us. Wish none of us had to have the ache in our arms. Sending a million and one hugs to you!
This is something that always seems to catch me off guard no matter how good of a place I am in. The fact that no matter how good that place is I will always miss her. No matter how much times goes by, I will always miss her. I had a patient one time who's daughter had been struck and killed by a car as a child over 30 years ago. When he told me the story he broke down in tears and I realized that his heart was still broken. I realized that it would hurt forever, that I would miss my daughter forever and that the pain would never really ever go away completely. I wasn't sure if I thought that I would somehow one day wake up and magically be healed but up until I met that man I thought that one day I would wake up and it wouldn't hurt anymore, that one day I wouldn't miss her. I was wrong... Sending you hugs as you think about you sweet boy.
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