This week has been a tough one for me not sure why. Have been shedding a lot of tears for Scott. Today I had my yearly doctors appointment at the Gyn and had a total meltdown when I got to my car. and as on par for me when I have meltdowns my husband was unreachable in a meeting, my mom out of town, and my best friend on an airplane...but luckily there are other friends who are a text away and I was able to pull myself out of total drowning in my emotions by chatting with them and treating myself t0 lunch with dessert.
I have decided that the gyn should have an examine room that is specifically for moms who have dealt with loss or pregnancy issues. This examine room will have nothing to do with being pregnant no posters, no notes reminding pregnant women to do things just a normal ol' examine room...it sucks waiting in an examine room and having a poster with the stages of labor and progression of pregnancy starring you in the face.
I do love my doctor and she was the one who delivered Scott and I was talking to her about the March of Dimes. She too had a preemie and did the walk last year. I was telling her about Share and she was saying what a wonderful resource it would be perfect for her other patients dealing with the same issues. So I have found some Share phamplets I had and going to take them to her next week. So going to share a little love and support maybe to other moms who need it.
This weekend should be a mood lifter finally get to go to dinner with the husband the past two weekends we had to reschedule because of weather. Sunday is our march of Dimes team kickoff celebration. Our popcorn fundraiser is in full swing and C's fundraiser is going well too.
Emotional?...sure!! blame the hormones too!... Life is not easy at all, and as an extra, we deal with hormones.. not nice...
Awesome that you are participating in March of Dimes!! I'm sure being involved here will help you a lot, and helping others in your community will also give you a great feeling.
What is that "Share" thing you mentioned? How are you doing the Popcorn Fundraiser, what is it about? I just started a T-shirt fundraiser, and it will have names of babies that were preemie, any ages or angels (like mine)
Keep it up!! Hugs!!!
i am sorry that this week was one of those weeks. I understand. I am nearing the end of my timeline right now. So much sadness, but feels good to let the tears out. I can't stand those posters and friendly pregnancy reminders. The kick count one hurts the most. I saw that one so many times as a teenage girl. Who knew that would be the one I'd need to pay the most attention to years later?! The first time I went for an exam after our loss, I was next to a room overhearing a woman getting her ultrasound. Painful indeed. I hope that you ordered the biggest most yummy dessert and took your time with it enjoying every bite:) Awesome that the popcorn sale is popping away and I hope it warms your heart a little more with each sale. Go Team Popcorn! I just love your team's sweet name:)
Hugs from the desert,
Lindsay
I am so sorry that you have had such an emotional week. I always seem to have moments like that when Jerry is unavailable too. It really stinks. After my 6 week check up I switched to having my yearly exams done by my PCP. It was so much easier and a lot less stress. Maybe that is an option for you?
I'm glad that you are sharing Share. I am sure it will benefit a lot of moms who have no where to turn and are lost like we were.
Good to hear the fundraiser is doing to well. We live in such a small community and it is already very over saturated with fund raisers that we have a tough time selling anything. It gets a little frustrating.
Sending you hugs and letting you know I am always here.
Jami
I'm sorry your'e having a hard week because your'e missing baby Scott :( I know it must be so difficult to be at the finish line of pregnancy and to lose him the way you did. It blows my mind that with all the advanced technology available that there was no way for doctors to know about his birth defect it makes me sad that there are still so many unanswered questions in medicine having to do with pregnancy and newborns there are many broken hearts out there. sending hugs your way at least we have our little angels watching over us
I always had severe anxiety in the ultrasound rooms. My husband still talks about how he hates that room. I just kept thinking yes, I had very very bad memories in this room but there are also some great memories. Thinking of you!