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had the conference today with the teacher...my son started preschool being able to write his name( mind you they would be all over the page but for a young 4...), hold scissors correctly and cut, be able to have conversations with people, and has a vocabulary that is outstanding. He loves nonfiction and can tell you how trucks, firetrucks works,all their different parts. He knows his letters, colors, shapes, and can count. This is his first school experience so lining up, raising his hand etc is new to him. He is also a "dreamer" his head is always in the clouds, he loves to talk ( he gets that from not just mom but dad too), and thinks outside the box. If he doesn't want to to do it he will pretend he doesn't know it. You get a lot from him "I forget" "What did we do" Because he gets lazy and silly. Frankly, he's 4! Yet he can tell you about our cruise we went on in detail when he was a young two so you know he didn't forget. He just turned 4 1/2 on Dec 2.
I was told today that I should look into holding him a spot next year at his preschool because unless there is more growth she reccommends I hold him back from Kindergarten. All you mommies especially the angel mommies can probably guess how my jaw hit the floor and how I came very close to bursting into tears. I was told he needs to work on fine motor his name is all over the place. I told her that was because I have never taught him to write it in order. We are working on it. I was told his cutting skills have improved, improved from what? In my opinion he's always cut well fora 4yr old. So what exactly are the other kids cutting? He cut out stars for me the other day to hang on our staircase for decoration. Anyway, He likes to talk at circle time ( I was happy to hear he has come out of his shell and talking) but he doesn't always raise his hand...ummm I taught 9 years old they don't always raise their hands either. He has trouble staying on task and sometimes forgets what he needs to do. When she ask him what he should be doing he says, "I forget". one he's 4 don't most 4 years olds have trouble being constantly on task? Apparently he doesn't focus on cleaning up...what child does? I also told her yes he does that at home the I forget it's called trying to get out of work. I was told to give him tasks to do at home. He does chores and earns a $1 allowance a week. He sorts the laundry, puts the utensils away from the dishwasher, and sets the table. ( I made supercute placemats that show were the untensils go) So he can perform a task and he can complete a task. He does get distracted from all his talking yes, but he's 4! She is also concerned about his socialization since he doesn't go out of his way to play with other children. One thing I have observed is all of his classmates were in school last year most of them at this preschool. so they already know each other, there are cousins, twins in that class. Why aren't they asking C to play? Colin is an "only child" ( their should be a term for kids who lost a sibling) so he's used to playing by himself, I do think he finds it's easier sometimes to play by himself because than he can play the way he wants to. He does have friends outside school and he plays great with them. Also C is used to adults, Our family is adults. His youngest cousin is 11. I can't give him younger cousins, I had given him a younger brother he just isn't here physically. Our everyday life consists of adults. But I look at it as he can hold a conversation, but now I feel guilt for not giving him a playmate at home.
I cried all afternoon and wondered if I have had blinders on and haven't seen something. Just like with Scott when i didn't see he wasn't going to live. As an educator by training have I missed something? But then my mom who spends a lot of time with him and taught preschool for 20years was like their is no issue. My husband thinks it's hogwash. My best friend is in shock and ready to go beat up his teacher for me. He has shown so much growth in the 3 months since he has started school. He has more confidence. My dad say we have another 9 months practically a year he'll be fine. But the doubt is there now and I'm wondering if I send him to Kindergarten will it be the right thing? I have always known C is the type of child that he doesn't do something till he is ready. I worked with him on potty training his whole 2 year old life but it wasn't till he turned 3 that he said I want underwear. From that day he has used the potty and never had an accident. He has to be sure he is going to do it right before he does it...but now I question myself and wonder have a done my son a disservice by just letting him be a kid the past 4 years and not pushing education down his throat? he has learned so much through life experiences but is that enough for starting school?
I just want people to leave my family aloe.
I told my husband I'm running away to Hawaii tonight...
Well come on over! :) We're having left overs for dinner... but no matter, the view and the weather is great. :) I'm so sorry all this has thrown you for such a loop. I'm scratching my head what the teacher is talking about.. yeeesh he's 4! Doesn't always raise his hand? Yeah.. DUH, he's 4! Sheesh I know adults who don't know when and when not to talk! ;) And it's only midway through the year... doesn't he have the whole other half of the school year to grow?
I think you are a beautiful mama to your C, and your Scott. You know in your gut what is best for him, and that he's the kind of kiddo that when the time is right things fall into place. You don't need to feel bullied by this teacher to do anything dfferent.
Many hugs mama,
Thanks Lauren for you comment it made me feel calmer. and don't tempt me about coming over you might find me on you door step especially since they are calling for an ice storm Sunday. I'm just so emotionally drained right now...
I'm so sorry the conference with C's teacher went the way it did. It sounds like she has some pretty unreasonable expectations for 4 year olds (especially for a first school experience) and isn't really appreciating that different kids have different personalities (thinking outside the box is an awesome trait in my opinion, but apparently not in his teacher's). There are many months left until Kindergarten and at this point, just a few months into the school year, it seems crazy to recommend considering holding him back. You are a great mom to C - kids should be kids and you have given him lots of good life experience to promote with fine motor skills, following tasks and social interaction. I think its a preschool teacher's job to promote social interaction between the kids - if she's not doing that, its her issue, not C's. From your description (with the disclaimer that I have no background in child development other than watching my own boys), it sounds like C's doing great. If you have any doubts though, you could always ask for an evaluation by an occupational therapist, mostly just for your own peace of mind.
Thinking of you,
I'm really starting to think that the expectations for kids entering school are bordering on delusional. Someone told me the other day that kids who don't know how to read when they go to kindergarten are behind. What?! I have a really difficult time believing that developmental abilities have changed that much since I went to kindergarten ... evolution doesn't happen that fast!
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this BS. It sucks that we're at the mercy of public education because Montessori costs so much. I was a high school teacher for 12 years and left my job this summer because I couldn't take the nonsense any longer. The whole system is so frustrating.
I highly recommend taking Lauren up on her offer :)
You're right---he's 4.... I think his teacher has expectations that are for older children. If you're a teacher, you'd definately pick up on things that might be "off". He'll be fine and if at the end of the year, you see things that are not on level for kindergarten then you can make the decision then. Kids make a huge change from the beginning of the year to the end as you well know.
Nicole I am so sorry that this preschool teacher has made you doubt your son. From what I hear he is doing most of the things on the "Kindergarten" list we received shortly before Alexia started kindergarten. Those were all things they wanted her to work on or have mastered and C has already done those. Hello he's 4 years old! Keira knows all of her colors in Spanish but refuses to learn them in English or at least say them anyway. Which is funny since my husband doesn't know any spanish. But she's 4 (almost) and that's what four years olds do. She also doesn't like to clean up and has a hard time taking her turn as well.
Just a thought, maybe this "teacher" is trying to guilt you into staying in the program next year as a way to improve their attendance. Just an idea. I think she's nuts though and your son is perfectly fine. Try not to let this upset you too much.
LOL I sent you an email. Jadon was a young 4 too! Many hugs as you navigate this and find what is best for your little one. but follow you heart. It will lead you in the right direction!
I don't really have much wisdom to add, as the other ladies have done a great job! One question...is she a new teacher?
We've had issues in the past with teachers moving down from older grades down to younger grades, and having completely wacky expectations...this isn't from Tucker, this is from friends of mine who are teachers and who have had to keep other teachers on track. ;) In a way I am thankful that Tucker is not expected to perform with the "typical" kids, they are expected to do so much!
Huge hugs, I don't think you've missed anything mama, please don't let the guilt pile on. Perhaps we'll all go to Lauren's for a break!!
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