to add to my stress of the day it's very stormy here tonight. 3 years ago when Colin was turning three it was very stormy the night before his birthday. Colin's birthday being are last normal day since I went into the hospital the day after. This year Scott would have been 3 and it's the night before Colin's birthday. It's like I am remembering everything in such clarity with every drop of rain and every rumble of thunder. Thinking how we had no clue what was coming...and then because my mind is going there wondering what's going to happen this time?
Add to it that I cannot get the email from my BIL out of my head and it makes for a very stressful emotional night.
I hate that feeling. That weird cross between de ja vu and panic over waiting for the other shoe to drop. UGH!
F' your BIL's email. Don't let it in your head. But, I know how that's easier said than done. I don't know if this is the right thing to say. But it's what I want someone to say during moments like these: This all just sucks. I'm sorry, Nicki. Hugs.