It was a really hard decision for me to decide not to attend Shareunion this year. After making my decision I was second guessing myself wondering if I should have went. But then my Uncle died in the early morning that Monday after Shareunion. I would have just gotten home. One thing I now know after having a couple shareunions under my belt is that although it is an a very special weekend with some very special people it also leaves me feeling very emotional a few days after coming home. I know now that there is no way I could have handled attending my Uncle's funeral the week after Shareunion especially since it was being held at the same funeral home Scott's was.
My Uncle was an amazing man who had a heart full of love. He loved my Scott even thought he never met him. He had my back at Scott's funeral when someone I knew made a very poor choice and brought her infant to the funeral. He was fiercely protective of those he loved. We miss him a lot. It's still a little surreal that he is gone because he was one of those people who was just always there.
It was hard walking into the same funeral home where Scott had his funeral. We chose not to have a viewing for Scott so I knew going to my Uncle's viewing would be hard but manageable. But the funeral I was getting very anxious about. My uncle's funeral was going to be in the same chapel at the funeral home. My husband and I before we left the viewing walked into the chapel. the memories that came swarming back. The little white coffin that sat in front. The place where I said my final goodbye to him. It was hard.
The next day we had to get to my Uncle's funeral early because a large crowd was expected. Everyone loved my Uncle John. So here I am sitting in this chapel 45 minutes before the service was to start. My family knew how hard it was and they were giving me hugs etc. But it was 3 people I saw that gave me the strength I needed to sit through the service. All of them being neighbors I grew up with. The one woman lived down the road were I grew up and we grew up with her 2 youngest children. When we were teenagers her oldest daughter who was in college was killed in a car accident. Seeing her I knew that if I needed to get up and leave at anytime during the service she would get it. She would understand she would walk out with me and sit with me and cry with me. That little extra bit of I can do this because someone is here who understands what it is like. Then two people walked in I haven't seen in years. They lived right next door to us growing up. When I was in college they moved a couple hours away. They own the funeral home. Mike and I were told by the funeral home when planning Scott's funeral that they like to help parents out with costs when a child dies. We all are pretty sure that my neighbor called and said to "take care of us" we only paid a fraction of what we should have paid for Scott's funeral. Seeing these two people made my heart swell. How kind and generous they are. I wanted to say thank you but couldn't. Because we are suppose to think it was something the funeral home does for everyone. So instead I scooted my husband and brother in the pew and squished them together to give the a place to sit.
Sometimes the universe will help you out a little and send people at the right time when you need it. I needed those 3 people. It was because they were there that I got through it. So that "first" is now done. I knew one day I was going to end up back there.
I am so sorry about the loss of your uncle. It's rough that you had the additional emotional trauma at the same time. So glad you had the support you needed though.
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your uncle. I am sure this has been an emotional time for you, and I can certainly understand how it would be very difficult to be back at that funeral home. I know I don't like even driving past the funeral home where Marco was cremated.
Sending love your way,
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