I told myself tonight that if I made it through the orientation at C school that I could come home and vent to you all. Although I haven't met you all yet I know you get it. I had actually come out of my funk and have been doing okay. We have been keeping busy which is my way of "surviving' when things get tough. Also hanging out with family...I surround myself with them when I get feeling bad they are my rocks. also junk food mainly chocolate seems to help.
So I go to the parent orientation tonight and my husband is with me. I was actually looking forward to going and meeting his teacher etc. Well it's a sea of pregnant women and women talking about their babies/toddlers at home. So i'm trying hard to tune it out but when there is a huge prengant women in front of you and behind you... and of course everyone is teasing the one asking her if she was going to make it through the meeting...so I'm sucking it up as we learn to do. Then the meeting starts and the director is talking and she is going on about how she sees familair faces of those whose older children have already been through the school and how she looks forward to seeing the younger ones one day. I about burst into tears at this point knowing we only have one year at this faboulous school there is no one else for us to come through. I so badly want to walk out but I don't. Because one thing I have realized is I am at a stage in my life that all the mommies around me are still working on having kids just like I had been. Plus it's a preschool there are going to be siblings that are babies, and pregnant mommies. I just didn't expect it to hit me like a ton of bricks. A new social situation to adapt too.
We got to see C classroom and meet his teacher. In my heart I know he will love it. and that is what keeps me going. we found him a school were they nurture and they learn through meaningful play and activities. I know that once he gets over his anxiety about starting school ( gee wonder were he gets this from...) that he will love it. He is going to soak up everything like a sponge. But while I"m there it sinks in I won't be there with him. Most of the activities we have done to this point I've been a part of or at least been on the "sidelines" The reality hit and it made me sad.
We got Wednesday where C goes to school for an hour to meet his teacher and see his classroom. I get to stay and MOMMOM is coming too( moral support). Then Friday is when school officially starts.( hubby took morning off to be my moral support) one day at a time and probably going to downgrade to one hour at a time.
I just so badly wanted to interrupt conversations and say I have a baby too he just isn't here. I just wish I could talk about C little brother too. But even if I did it would just create awkward situations with moms I'm just meeting for the first time. I've learned to get to know people first before sharing my story.
I ate frozen yogurt afterwards with lots of yummy toppings. it helped.
I am so sorry for all of the moms with large tummies coming at you from all sides at the orientation. That's rough!!! You sat through it and hopefully went to your happy place (Chocolate Land). I hear you on the toppings! I bet you kept the yogurt people busy unless it was a self-serve and if so, I'm glad you helped yourself to extras:)
The preschool sounds like a good one:) It will be strange at first, but you will both get into a routine. New routines can be scary for everyone. It's also a step in that moving forward direction, but never in the way you imagined it. I know.
Thinking about you. Take first day pics:)
I have all the same food coping mechanisms - chocolate and toppings (but I usually go for ice cream)!
I'm sorry it was so hard to be at the orientation. I've had similar feelings many times - whenever we reach a new start I am reminded of what is missing and how things should be. Good for you for sticking through it. I'm sure preschool will be a great experience for C and I wish you both good luck!
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