Living my new normal

the baby videos

  • ah the "pursuit of happiness" is a hard topic for many of us Angel moms, and in general I think for everyone it is, as I read somewhere pursuit of happiness has not happiness as a goal, but is a way or a path in life... I have come to "enjoy" those little happy moments is fulfilling and I am trying so  hard to make as many as I can, for me and for my kids... but always the "what if" life  glimpses are sad and hard .

    Sending you a big hug


    P.S. my kids love to watch old DVDs or photos together, I hope Colin enjoyed that moment with you.

  • I get this completely. I know that there is joy and happiness in my life but I don't think it is the same carefree and oblivious happiness it was before Arianna died. I also think that the her death distorts my memories of the past. I look at the old me and can't help but pity me for my ignorance yet at the same time I so desperately want to be her again. I hope that makes sense.

    I promise you that you aren't the only loss mom who has wished a memory was that of her dead child instead of her living one. I think many of us wish for just one memory that isn't also filled with pain. Sending you hugs as you begin yet another chapter in the book of the new normal.



  • Hello, thinking of you and the roller coaster of emotions that we go through. I know what you mean, sometimes I look at my two boys and am filled with sadness thinking of how their brother isn't here. Or get angry thinking of daily typical things they go through that Sean never got to experience. Thinking of you!