2017 a new year in our lives still navigating this new normal. I have never been a New Year's resolution person...thinking why does it have to be January 1 you decided to make changes? But since I decided this year is when I start making changes I guess it's my resolution! This is the year of me...taking care of me and doing things for me. I am very good at doing things for others, dropping everything to do things for others, and putting myself last. ( yes I think it's a mom thing and many of you are nodding your head in agreement) But I have realized that I need to start doing things for me and making time to do those things. My husband got a hobby! Yay I have been on him for the past couple years to find something. I see how he has changed become a better version of himself. Not wrapped up into himself thinking about Scott, his crazy family, work issues. This hobby of his takes him out 2 nights a week for an hour which is fine with me. The boy has his School of Rock twice a week and cub scouts and I realized I can have something too. I decided to start Yoga again. I loved it when I took it right after Scott died. It helped in many ways. I have been wanting to do it again but always had an excuse mainly the costs. ( Yoga not cheap!) I went to my first class yesterday and I think I will really like the instructor. She starts class with what is your strength? weakness? Then said many of you can't tell me right away yet if I asked you the same about your spouse or parents you could probably answer right away. She talked about accepting ourselves for who we are and accepting that we are just fine as we are. A lot to think about. Then she talked about being able to clear our heads and just let the moment be. I cannot do that. I can never fully clear my head. There is always something I end up thinking about. As I am going through the meditating part at the beginning and end I realize I think I have to. I am so worried that if I clear my head the darkness will come back. The darkness I fault so hard to push away after Scott died. There was a point in time that I didn't think I was coming back from it. My husband even tells me now he wasn't sure I was coming out of it. I think that is why sleep comes so hard for me. So I think Yoga will be good for me. Help me find my balance again. Help me see that I have come further than I think in my journey.( or at least I think I have) and help me start to relax a little and not always be planning and figuring out the next thing to do to keep busy. I hope that it helps me be able to just sit and appreciate what is in front of me all that more instead of just thinking about what will happen tomorrow. and Oh how I missed those stretches and movements. I swear I am standing taller today!
I am also going to finally learn how to properly use my sewing machine and taking a beginner sewing class with my friend.
And of course new year means new March for Babies and Team Popcorn has started planning for our fundraising etc.
I love that you are doing for yourself and have found yoga again! I think most moms do tend to care for others first and I think it's something that you have to train yourself to undo. I'm in that boat as well and I've made similar promises to myself. I just need to follow through and not let myself down. Then and only then will I see the droids, I mean results, that I'm looking for:) Way too much Star Wars going on in my home right now. Very cool that Team Popcorn is already planning!
Yay! I am so glad you found something you love to do. I too have always wanted to know how to properly use a sewing machine. Continue what you are doing I can not wait to see what this year has in store for you!
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