On Saturday we received a phone call that my husbands mother was in the Er and having immediate surgery on a strangalated hernia. Being that his parents live in Florida and we do not it was difficult for us to get correct information since My father in law was not handling the stress to well and giving in accurate information. Luckily we were able to get verbal permission to talk to the Er doctor to find out what was going on. Then today my husband was able to set up verbal permission that allows him to talk to all the medical staff including the surgeon. We found out my MIL had 3 major surgeries take place yesterday that were very significant. It resulted in her having part of her stomach and Colon removed. On top of that they found a mass that a biopsy was done on to see if it is cancer.
Dealing with doctors , having to keep another medical journal with all the notes from talking to doctors, the countless phone calls, setting up yet another caring bridge site is creating lots of flashbacks. This is too soon for our family. We just were getting back to "normal" even my husband said the other day I'm tired of being sad I'm going to live my life and now this. So poor C is watching his parents be "those people" again of always on the phone, private conversations, he being sent to his grandparents while stuff his dealt with. Ontop of that we are most like traveling to Florida next week which mean C will be left here with his grandparents.(my parents) Once again we are leaning on my family to help us out in a crisis. I hate that we are putting C through this again so soon.
I know this post sounds selfish and I do really feel for my MIL and what she is going through and hope that she is able to recover and that it is not cancer...but it's hard. it's bringing back way to many hard feelings. The other difficult thing is this could have been prevented and possibly not as bad if my MIL would actually have went to a doctor every once in a while. My husband estimates it's been since the mid 80's since she has since a doctor.
Please send lots of positive thoughts are way and hope that I am once again able to keep back the words that I truly want to express to my SIL who is once again pushing all the responsibility on my husband.
I'm so sorry. I dread the day that it's our turn to take care of my parents or in laws medically like this. I know way too much about doctors, hospitals, etc. and while I am set up to help intellectually, I'm not sure that I'll be able to handle it emotionally.
You are right, this is too soon for y'all to have to deal with this, especially with your MIL being in another state. I'm sure it will be hard to leave C.
And I have a hard time feeling bad for people who don't take care of themselves. Wow she hasn't seen a dr since the 80s? yikes.
Good luck and keep us updated!
I don't think this post sounds selfish at all, I think it sounds honest. I don't blame you for just wanted some peace and quiet and a drama free existence. After Jerry and I lost Arianna it seemed like there was something major going on every few months. It added to the exhaustion and really challenged my sanity. I will be sending you lots of positive thoughts for not only your mother in law but also for you and your husband and C.
p.s. If C is anything like my kids a few days with Grandma and Grandpa are always welcomed!
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