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This week for some reason has been full of those dreaded "triggers" that can just set your good day into a tail spin. Sometimes I can just shake them off and move on and other times I just want to sit and cry the rest of the day.
There have been a few times this week were little things have made me wistful at what could have been. Then today I am ordering some Christmas ornaments. My husbands work puts out an ornament each year and he likes to collect them. He thought it would be a good thing to pass on to his children one day. I recall a conversation we had the Christmas I was pregnant with Scott and Mike fretting over how he would divide them up among the two boys when they were older. It hit me today ordering the ornament that we now never have to worry about that. C gets them all. It made just made me really sad.
Huge hugs to you! Those triggers are so hard, especially when they catch you off guard. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to split them up between the two boys, it's the simple things that hurt the most sometimes.
Ohhh I know the feeling of "trigger" especially this week! sending you a million and one hugs!
I really hate days like you are describing. It seems like the more time that passes the harder those rough days get too. They seem to sneak out of the blue sometimes and just knock you straight off of your feet. I really can't wait to hug you in person at Share Union and let you know that you truly are not alone on those seemingly impossible days.
It's little moments like that that remind us that the loss of a baby is really the loss of so many things. The losses seem endless at times - and that can be a really overwhelming and just sad realization to think about.
Hugs hugs to you,
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