I am trying something new this new year. I am making sure I have me time each day which is resulting in me getting up early to do a workout, meditate/yoga, and watch the sunrise. My motivation to start this whole get up earlier then usual thing ( not a morning person) was to make sure to tale a look outside and see the sun rising to start the new day.
I am also trying to be more positive and take a a more positive outlook on life. To try and just be happy. This is very hard for me and very scary. Just typing these words creates a sense of anxiety within in me that by sharing this I am going to cause something bad to happen in my life.
The past 5 years although I have moved forward in my grief and started remembering my son in a happier more positive way I still feel nervous about letting myself be too happy or to look forward and share good things that are going to take place for fear that it won't happen. It's that residual affect of having been on top of the world for 36 weeks with a "perfect" pregnancy and to have it all ripped from you in an instance.
I have been doing some mindfulness activities and am learning that happiness cannot make life bad and that it can make you healthier, and a more positive person to be around. It's small steps but so far I think I am doing pretty good.
My new goal to have a better outlook on life has been tested already this new year with the re-homing of our dog but I managed to get through it and not make myself miserable and negative about it.
I am trying really hard to just allow myself to be happy that it's okay to do so. That yes life is going to throw curve balls but that doesn't mean we can't be happy in the meantime.
I am loving that you are making time for yourself a priority. With school choice, sometimes it's even harder to get that alone time. I love that you are waking up early and becoming that morning person:) I've got a few goals I'm trying to make good on this year too. I understand that hesitancy to allow yourself to be positive or to plan for future. I feel like I do that too, but it feels so good when there are those moments of feeling relaxed and more positive. I have to remember that it can be like that more often, but only if I choose it. Like you said, small steps, but very possible.
Yeah, those darn curve balls! Big HUGS!
Congrats on getting up early....I'm usually at my desk by the time the sun gets up ;) I wish I could keep that going on the weekends too, I know I could accomplish so much if I would get up on Saturday even by 7, whereas I'm up during the week at 5..but somehow the bed is too inviting! I'm glad you are allowing yourself " me time" and happiness.
Love and Hugs
New Year new goals! Me time is so important I think I need to focus on that myself too! Hugs dear friend!
Nicole, it's great to hear that you're putting yourself at the top of list and making you a priority. You deserve every happiness. I can't truly understand how the loss of Scott has changed you but I'm grateful that you're finding peace within yourself to then find peace around you. And remember small steps are still steps of progress. And certainly doesn't mean that you miss Scott any less.
We have just started mindfulness activities with Rachel as part of her therapy. Kirk and I can already see how beneficial this can be for us too as we can easily be pulled into her world.
Hugs to you,
All of this is so healthy and admirable -- and a great reminder for all of us here! I'm just learning to make more time for mindfulness/meditation/yoga and how much difference they can make in the aftermath of trauma. Thanks for sharing!
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