Living my new normal

visibility and infant loss

  • This is such a beautiful post Nicki. This comparison, this perspective, just wow! When you talk about the invisible pain of infant loss unless someone asks or you decide to share. Like loss being a big secret you're carrying around and people fumbling for words of condolence. So true! I'm glad that you are receiving the hugs, the kind words, the acknowledgement on this new journey and somehow, strangely helping to heal one already in motion. I am so glad that you posted to let us know how you're doing. I used to tell people to take one moment, one breath at a time. Now, we're onto chunks. So, take one chunk at a time and know that we're here for you:)

    Sending LOVE,


  • I completely get what you are trying to say. When I lost Josie I was really young, only 23, and since she was so small, I lost the weight really quickly (I wasn't eating either) and I didn't "look" like a mom or someone who just lost someone. So I walked around just full of grief and heartache, that no one else could see, yet I always felt as if it was overflowing, and obvious. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs "don't you see that I just lost my baby and I don't care at all about ___________" But if you do that you're considered  crazy and that just doesn't work. I'm glad you are able to break up what you need to take on a little at a time. And I know that you have definitely "got this"!

    Love and Hugs


  • Nicole, wow. This post makes so much sense. Being able to have outward signs of the hell you are going through makes people kinder towards you, give you more of a break and more patience. How I wish that everyone going through problems or grief had that same kind of encouragement. We could wear signs saying "just be nice to me, I may snap" :/ Huge hugs as you go through cancer, much love to Colin and Scott too!

  • I have been reading posts for almost 3 weeks now since I had my stillbirth on July 18, 2018. Your post made me join Share. So beautifully written and it hit every chord in my being. Thank you for writing this. You literally took every feeling in me and wrote it in words. I hope you know that there are people out there like myself praying for you and that you are definitely not alone in this wild journey called life. All the best. With love. Suyin