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I was driving to Bj's Whole Sale club today and was at traffic light with an Elementary School in front of me and I burst into tears. I bursts into tears over something that is a year away. In a year the school year of 2017-18 Scott would have been starting Kindergarten. I have been thinking that I need to see if the school can take my name off of any emails that go out for next years in oming Kindergarteners so I don't have to constantly see the events/registration dates. and of course my mind had to go there....the fact that he would be boarding the bus with his big brother the 3rd grader. How C would be watching out for him and making sure he didn't get off at the wrong stop like he did when he was a Kindergartener etc. and then the waterworks....Oh those moments of out the blue so you show up to your location with red puffy eyes.
Oh Nicki...it never goes away, does it? Those moments of wondering, of wishing, of grieving. I'm so sorry that things aren't the way they were supposed to be.
So much love to you,
I'm so sorry for those painful reminders. The year our angel would have started Kinder was difficult. The lame Kindergarten roundup postcard in the mail didn't help either. I know things are especially hard as June approaches.
Thinking about you,
Those moments are so random yet make the biggest difference in your day! I still get very emotional about school and all of the things that should be happening in our life. Hugs to you!!
I think Missed milestones are some of the hardest parts of being a loss mom. I remember crying as I walked Jadon into 2nd grade knowing that I should also be walking in a kindergartener. Hugs and love dear friend!
I so understand. These feelings never seem to go away. When I think I have reached the last time I will be upset about "what ifs" they sneak up and blindside me. I find myself dreading the moments to come so that I won't be blindsided again. It's an awful way to carry on with life.
Love and Hugs
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