I work very hard not to be a "helicopter" mom and not to over protect it's hard after having a child die. C is in a camp this week that is 45 minutes away with traffic less without. Not too far but farther than usual. one of his friends a daughter of my good friends is in the camp too. So we've been carpooling together this week and just hanging out up there while they get their art on. ( It's an art camp) Well I ended up having to get last minute dental work done this morning ( my teeth hate me) so my friend drove the kiddos to camp and is just going to pick them up she told me to take the day and get stuff done. Most moms would love this, appreciate this. This mom has anxiety...her baby is farther away then normal, what if something happens? I would love just to be able to ship my kid off to an activity and be like yay got the the day to myself. I will still utilize the day and get stuff done but my stress will not leave me till he is back here at the house. It's just the nature of the beast...I just hope that as time passes it gets easier and my anxiety lessens.
I am starting to put the "armor" on and preparing for World war...I've lost count what number we are on with my inlaws...we just found out my husband's uncle is having health issues and may have leukemia. He is up there in age and will probably not be with us for long if he has all that his mother was telling us. This is the same uncle my husband confided in, turned too when everything was happening with Scott. This is the same Uncle who turned his back on my husband when he needed him most not showing up for the funeral siting last minute plane tickets were to expensive. This is the very wealthy retired oral surgeon uncle who had just bought a Benteley..so couldn't even come up with a more plausible excuse...My husband has not had any contact with him since then. We caught hell for not going to his daughters wedding 3 years ago....We know the hell we will start getting for not reaching out to him or if the time comes attending a funeral. It amazes me how everyone can not be there for my husband in his greatest time of need but then will turn around and tell us how family is important...so let the fun begin when this all starts playing out. and we are sorry that his uncle is sick and it sucks but he chose to take himself out of our lives...and my husband doesn't see the need to go running back into it.
I understand the anxiety when you aren't right by and readily available for your child. My situation is a bit different, as I'm not married to or marrying Abbey and Josie's dad- but I have gone on a few trips and long weekends without Abbey, with her in the care of trusted friends and family. However, I usually don't settle at all until I receive a text that she was safely picked up or off the bus at home. Even then, it sits in the back of my mind, and I don't think I'm ever completely "off" mom duty.
Sorry about the family drama. It is odd how there are so many double standards when it comes to "showing up " for family. I hope it doesn't manifest into something as awful as before.
Love and Hugs
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