Will a time ever come were I can hear the news of someone having a baby and just be happy for them and not have the jealously too? I am fortunate that I have C and we are making the decision to not have other children since we have no clue what happened to Scott. But yet I hear of someone who has had a baby and feel sad, wistful, and just that feeling of it's not fair. My cousin just had a baby and when I heard it was a girl I was instantly relieved. She lives across the street and to know that it's a girl I will be seeing is so much easier on my emotional self than having to see a baby boy. I am truly happy for her and happy that the baby is doing well. Especially since she has had health issues in the past and this pregnancy was quite the surprise to her and she didn't find out she was almost in her 2nd trimester. I had heard there was even concern that there might be some issues from the treatments she had recieved int he past for her medical issues. So I was happy to hear she had an 8lb little girl. the name is beautiful, yet t I still feel like someone stabbed me in the gut as well.
I get it really i do hugs. I think for me at least the jealousy i feel is for mqnyvreasons not just our loss but also our infertility and ibwill always be jealous of those who have children the same age as our skylar but im hopingbthat if i am able to have a rainbow baby a lot of my jealousy over people being pregnant will be less
I can say that for me -- I find myself sighing relief when i find out someone's pregnant with a girl. My niece is pregnant with a boy and is due in April, and I'm on the fence about that one. I think there will always be a hole in our hearts for what we know we don't have. Hugs to you.
erin
I completely understand. This feeling has faded some for me but I still do have those moments where it is like a stab to the heart. I really truly with that I could have more children but I just can't. It's a very hard thing to accept and come to terms with. I hope that you had a Merry Christmas with C and that you guys all had some time of peace and reflection for your beautiful Scott.
Jami
I know how you feel. My best friend since 1st grade just had her little boy last month and I have yet to visit them because I don't know how I will react. My other 2 close friends are currently pregnant with boys and their due dates are within a couple of weeks of Maddox's due date of February 17. I have already declined one baby shower invite and probably will decline the other. It will be extremely hard for me to see these boys as they grow up because they will all be the age that my little boy would have been. When I was still pregnant, my girlfriends and I would talk about how they all would be best friends and I couldn't wait for the playdates that were to come. Now I dread seeing them and hearing about their babies even though a part of me are happy for them. I hope that everyone that gets pregnant in 2014 will be having girls because I think it would be so much easier to deal with. I think it's totally normal to feel jealous and I honestly don't think it will ever go away, but it will become easier. Hang in there.