Tonight we pulled out Colin's baby book and the journal I kept while pregnant with him and than anecedotes I had put in over the years. Going through his baby book I realized that I needed to fill in his birthdays from 2,3,4, &5. I pulled out the pen and started filling in what his birthday party them was,who was there, special gifts. I got to his 3rd birthday page and was just taken aback. All I could think at first was that was our last normal day. I came very close to writing that when I snapped out of the instant fog and realized that really wouldn't be appropriate to write in my sons baby book. I was able to write the theme of his party and that was it. Each page you can also put a picture from the birthday and I realize I have no pictures printed from his 3rd birthday and I don't think I ever will. I don't need photographic evidence I remember ever little detail of that party/day like it was yesterday.
I do have to say though I have an older brother who has always been able to make me laugh. Well we found video from Colin's 3rd birthday last year and decided to just rip the bandaide off and watch it. It wasn't bad because my brother had control of the video camera and was doing all sorts of obnoxious things like taking video like he was a fly, as if there was an earthquake etc. Watching it you couldn't help but laugh. It's like he knew I was going to need some humor when I got to watching the video footage for this party.
I'm sure that seeing that 3rd birthday page was a huge trigger for you. I'm glad to hear that you were able to watch and actually somewhat enjoy watching some of the footage of Colin's 3rd birthday. Sounds like it was fate that your brother was filming :)
Sending my love and hugs.
Oh Nicole, how hard it must be to not only mourn the loss of Scott, but to also try to keep normalcy for Colin in what is not a normal situation at all. When you saw the 3rd birthday page, that must have been so hard. :(
I am thankful that you were able to laugh at the video of his party, I am glad that your brother can make you laugh no matter the situation. We all need humor, even in unthinkable times.
I can't imagine how hard that must have been. Alexia doesn't have a baby book. Well she has one but there is literally nothing in it. I always have all of these wonderful intentions of starting it but It's just hard. She was only 8 months old when we had her sister and I just put it off too long. Those early photos of her sleeping on my pregnant belly or cuddling me in bed when I didn't want to get up are not memories I want to remember sometimes.
Sending you hugs.
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