My husband and I started taking yoga last fall. We go once a week and I have found it is good for me in many ways. Not just the physical aspect of stretching and becoming more flexible but I find it helps me mentally too. Our yoga teacher starts the class with a seated meditation and then ends the class with another meditation were we oour lying on our backs and he places lavendar scented towels over faces as we just lay their and take deep calming breaths. I work very hard every day to go about my life and push past the sadness of losing Scott and to not project what he would look like, be doing now. Yoga is the one "safe" place where I allow that part of my brain to open and just be. I sometimes think about Scott and visiting him in the NICU and those special times we had together. Sometimes I think about his delivery and sometimes I think about everything that has happened afterwards. There are times that I am crying during one of the meditations and times that I just find peace. It's my place to just be and allow whatever thoughts come my way. I go once a week and it's wonderful.
Well wanted you know this past week a new person came and she was a few months pregnant. How that shook me and how it took my focus completely away. Of course she set up next to my husband ( it was very crowded so there was no way for us to move spots) and all through class she would be there rubbing her stomach and just looking peacefully happy. It just made me sad. it's horrible of me I know but I'm really hoping she does not come back next week. I just feel like yoga was the one place were I didn't have to be around pregnant women and hear about women and their babies. All I could think in class was why isn't she in a prenatal yoga class!
But something did come from the class my husband "gets it" now. He never could get how I sometimes want to approach a pregnant women and tell her my story. I've never done it and know I never will it's just there in my thoughts. and my husband as always replied you'll do it once and never do it again. We were leaving yoga and he turns to me and says I get it. He tells me he so badly wanted to turn to her and tell her our story and how we were blissfully happy too.
Next week I am setting up my yoga mat in the far corner hoping that she sits no where's near me.
Oh no....!!!! That's always my luck too! The person that I want to stay the farthest from is always closest. I hope that your new location in the classroom with help.
I'm glad to hear that yoga brings you such peace and the time to focus on you. i'm sorry about the pregnant woman setting up shop, though, close to you and hubby. i completely understand. I think it's awesome that your husband has "awakened" in the male sense and understands just how hard it is for us angel moms to be so close -- yet so far away -- from what we once had.
I am sorry that this pregnant woman has invaded your comfort zone. I know that many of the loss moms on Share look at other pregnant women and share your feelings I look at each of them and see a ticking time bomb. I just want to shake the bliss away and tell them that they are crazy for thinking that its all sunshine and unicorns. Because as well all know it isn't. I expect every pregnancy to end dramatically and with a funeral. I can't help it. Oh how our views change after our losses. I hope your corner spot works out next week and you can get back to a place where you can enjoy the memories of your precious baby boy. Sending you lots and lots of strength.
Yoga has been so wonderful for me since losing Marco as well, and it is also a place where I really do allow myself to think about him. I know how painful it must have been to see that pregnant woman in your class - especially since it's your safe place and a place where you would have not expected to see her.
When I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, Lucia, I wanted to continue taking yoga, but couldn't take the hot yoga I normally take. I switched to a different studio, but could not take the pre-natal classes - it was too hard for me to be around other pregnant women, even though I too was pregnant. I couldn't handle being that closely surrounded by that many blissfully pregnant women. Too hard, too much.
Hoping that next week is better in yoga and that if that pregnant woman is there, that she is far away from you!
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
Privacy, Terms, and Notices
© Privacy, terms and notices