My day started normal enough trying to get back into our routine after C having a week off of school and my husband having a few days off. I took C to school went to the gym and then stopped by Target before picking him up. I had to return something and was standing in the insanely long line at returns and of course there is an infant boy in front and a older boy baby behind. So it triggers thoughts and I start imagining Scott with me and how he would be sitting in the cart and we would have been having the time together before picking up C. and I'm just lost in my little land of what if... I finally snap out of it get done what I need to get done and then scurry over to Pier 1 to buy the last santa item on the list a nutcracker! What 4 year old asked for a nutcracker!? of course mine he wants to make peanut butter with it...
So I get to school pick up C and his teacher tells me she wants to meet with me this week. She tells me she has concerns about his fine motor skills because of what is expected in Kindergarten. Okay she did not tell me any thing drastic, just said concern yet I about burst into tears quickly get out of the school and cry the whole way home...My husband who is home sick is wondering what is wrong and then I tell him and he just looks at me as if I have officially lost it which sometimes I think I have...so then I turn that sadness into anger. Because it's so much more productive right? HA! so i call my mom in an outrage at the school system now and what in the world they are expecting of 5 year old this days...and my poor mom just listens. I finally chill out and realize I can't do anything until I meet with the teacher on Friday. But I do know that he can cut just fine for a 4 yr old, write his name and other things so maybe he just needs to work on some things. Plus what's the big deal...it's fine motor skills it's not life and death. Yet I felt like the rug had been pulled from beneath me when the teacher mentioned it and it sent me into a tailspin...I know this all relates back to all those meetings in the hospital with Scott and all those interactions with Doctors were it was bad news after bad news...is this what I can expect my reaction to be everytime a teacher needs to bring up something with me about C? If so it's going to be some interesting school years to come...I just hope really really hope that I don't burst into tears during the meeting Friday...
Just when you think you are getting used to the new normal and adjusting....
Oh Nicole. I have totally been in this same position. This past year we learned that Alexia my middle daughter has ADD. It was a really hard blow for me. I told my husband that she was supposed to be the perfect one. The one who was born at 40 weeks with no complications. She was supposed to be "normal". It really set me back too. I will be thinking of you on Friday as you meet with the teacher and I'll also be waiting for an update.
I still love C's choice of a nutcracker. I can't wait to see the finished product!
When you've had the rug pulled out from under you it's hard to ever really feel like you're walking on solid ground. I understand how a comment like that could shatter a day. I'm keeping you in my thoughts- and if tears need to be had Friday.. let 'em be. I'm right there with you... yeeeeeh 4 years old... the things our kids are asked to do! :)
Sending lots of love your way. You certainly haven't lost it! Lots of positive thoughts to you for Friday. And even if you cry in that meeting - it is OK! :)
thanks for you comments I think it's exactly like Jami said the one child you have that was born 40 wks is suppose to be the "normal" one and the "perfect" one. You shouldn't have to go through anything negative with that child...You comments helped me and made me realize once again I'm not crazy and that there are moms out there who get it. Wish there wasn't but yet glad their is.
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