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I was wondering . . . and I'm pretty sure you've done this too. This time last year, as I put groceries away, I'd notice the expiration dates on boxes, soup cans, etc. Most of them had expiration dates or best by dates of 2009. I'd often think, wow, the baby will be so # months old by then and I'd imagine how my life would be, what I'd be doing, and just everything. Those dates are all gone now and as I put my groceries away each week, the expiration dates mostly say 2010. It's funny how a year can go by so quickly. I know that it's October, but I'm still in March. I do the same thing with my checkbook. I'll flip back to entries that I had made when I was pregnant. I even recall what we were doing at the time, a restaurant we ate at or what appointment and how many weeks along I was. There is so much significance in a date. My baby was delivered on March 6 (3-6) and weighed 3 lbs. 6 oz. He was 30 weeks exactly! I had it perfect for 30 precious weeks. My life was perfect! I had everything that I wanted. I was so happy and felt good about things. When I found out that I was pregnant, I thought, this is super! I am going to have my last baby before I turn 30. I'll be turning 30 in another week. It's supposed to be one of those milestone birthday celebrations. I don't feel like celebrating. I know that I am lucky. I know that I should celebrate my existence, but I would have happily given it up for him if given the choice. I met my goal. I had all of my babies before I turned 30, but never imagined it would happen this way. Thirty, what a number with such significance for me this year. Yeah, that and 30 years since McDonald's came out with their Happy Meal concept. Great. I feel so old! It's ridiculous, but I do! The reproductive part of my life is over and I'm so sad about that. I'd have so many more babies if I could. This 29-year old is going to say good night for now, on October 29th, 2009.