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Since the birth of my first son, the first grandbaby, my grandmother has become known as "Gigi." Great grandmother is just too hard for little kids. She got her pacemaker in this morning and is doing better. They moved her to another floor - less critical and she's eating with some assistance. Hopefully I'll be able to take my other son to see her, but he's getting a cold and I know that's not good for her. We'll see . . . My mother called me a few horus ago with that update and then she goes in on how much this is goign to cost, how the insurance got verified, but still isn't sure if all of this is going to be covered because Gigi has CA insurance, not AZ. Anyway, I just cut her off and I'm like, you know, one day at a time. Geez, on Wed., she was talking about not donating her organs (even though Gigi has requested that) to now complaining about how much assisted living is going to cost. This is my mother. I will probably be doing the same thign with her 20 years from now unless I dump that responsibility on my lovely sister. My mom would probably make me power of attorney because you know, it's jsut too hard for her and I'm the tough one who can handle it. My mother makes so many excuses for my sister, it makes me sick! I've learned so much watching my parents parent whil growing up. I am careful not to play that calculation game, she got that and I got this and blah, blah, blah. Really, I don't keep score. I am just SO conscious of how I parent my 2 boys. I really hope that I can set a good example, be fair and equal, and treat them as individuals as they get older. I know that nobody's perfect, but sometimes I feel like I could stand to lose some of this stress. My mom stresses me out. I swear, the only time my BP's are high is when I stressed due to trematic incident or when talking to my mother. This relationship isn't healthy at all. My mother's thinking is that because she didn't have help, she's not going to help me. Seriously, they aren't hands on grandparents at all and I really wish they were. I'm jealous when I see other women out with their moms and everyone seems so involved. I know, I should be happy that I have a mom. I'm here because of her, but it's hard. My relationship with my mother hasn't changed in years and I guess I thought it might when I entered adulthood. Nope! Because of Gigi, I ended up seeing them. I hadn't seen them since late July and I was doing okay with that. I just need distance right now with all that has happened. I don't care to hear about my sister and all that. I just can't. Don't know if I'm ever going to be okay.