I have been doing habilitation for well over a year now. I am hoping to stay at it for a couple more years. Recently, I received an email from the agency that I needed to update my CPR/First Aid and complete an in-person training. My online credentials did not expire for another year, but the classes were completed online due to pandemic. New protocol and compliance measures demanded in-person. I knew the class size would be small and it was, like five people were in the class and we were all spread out. The thing that I was dreading the most, however, the infant CPR manikins. I was really anxious about it. The last time I went for my CPR cert was back in 2010, just a year after losing N. I totally lost it and had to reschedule. This time, I was prepared or so I thought. I arrived a few minutes early and signed in. As I scanned the room, there they were, ready to go on the table. I just panicked! I had a mask on which could hide the ugly cry a bit. The tears just started coming. They look so darn real. It's something about a lifeless baby that I just know all too well. It just hit, BAM! I was remembering it all, then feeling bad that I was panicking, again, and then embarrassed that I was crying in front of strangers.
Somehow I collected myself. I really just wanted to turn and walk right out the door, but I knew that I needed to get this training completed to move forward with life. I sat down and the female instructor saw my face. She asked if everything was alright and I told her that the infant CPR models are a huge trigger for me. I had one right on the desk in front of me and there was one off to the side. She took both of them and put them away. She said that there was no need to explain. She has probably heard and seen it all. She asked me if it was okay if the ones on the back tables could remain for demonstration and that I watch the video on screen instead? I agreed. I got through the training and felt good that I didn't have to reschedule this time. Geez . . . I'm in timeline mode once again.
On a happier note, T celebrated a birthday earlier this month! He has been learning Japanese and is obsessed! We watched the Tokyo Olympics, he built the Lego Architecture Tokyo, reading manga, eating more salmon and Ramen, and watching Ramen documentary and Jiro Dreams of Sushi. He's very excited to start his Japanese 1-2 class. He started high school this year, online again, so he is very familiar with the school program. He has his (school) routine again and there are no conflicts with any therapies. I know someone who started her own origami business, so I am trying to see how I can get him scheduled for virtual origami classes. I know a couple of folds, but I really think it's something cool and cultural that he might like to try weekly.
Both kiddos got their vaccines over the summer, so feeling fortunate there. This Delta variant is no joke and I just hope we can all stay safe this year.
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