We're moving! We have had our eyes on a development and we finally went to check out the models during Winter Break. We knew as soon as we saw it. We know that if we don't do it soon, we never will. We have been in our current home for almost 15 years (in May). It is a similar floor plan to what we have now, but more space and it will give us more options in the future. So, on New Year's Eve, we put down a deposit to hold our lot and then we went straight home and CLEANED! We went with one of those companies that makes you an offer and then you have several days to accept it. We knew that this would be easier on all of us, especially T. It was hysterical! We would clean one room, then take a pic, move everything back, repeat. The kids were having lots of Xbox time while we ran around like crazy people cleaning and taking pictures. We did remember to turn the tv back to news to watch the ball drop. It was the first year the kids stayed up to celebrate till midnight! They literally went to bed right after that and as much as the parents were ready to turn out the lights, we kept on going just cleaning and snapping until 4 a.m. New Year's Day. We uploaded the best of the best pics, gave detailed descriptions (you know me with details), and clicked send. Within 48 hours, we had an offer. It was good and we accepted it. We get to choose our closing date and we get to stay in our current home until the next one is ready due to the company's relationship with builder. Two days later, there was an inspection crew at our home looking at everything. There was one last person who showed to go over measurements, a gal. I don't know how the conversation went there, but somehow it did, and I shared about our loss. Then, she shared her story.
She said that she had chills when I told her about Naethyn. She couldn't believe it and she felt safe to tell us about the baby girl that she lost at 6 months. She mentioned that she hadn't talked about her openly with anyone in years. She wasn't even supposed to have visited our particular home that day because it was added to her list last minute and her boss told her it was alright if she didn't have the time. She was at another property nearby and thought, may as well. Anyway, we both cried and shared a hug. I gave her one of those butterfly pins from conference and she put it on right away. Warmed my heart that I was able to have that moment with someone who really needed one as well. These angels do some good healing from above.
There will be changes. Hubby will go from a 1-mile commute to work now to a 20ish minute commute, but that's still really good. It has been a long time since we both really wanted something, nine years. I sort of keep waiting for something bad to happen though like it turns out to be tribal land and we can't build there or there was some kind of deed error on record! I guess I am just ready to be disappointed at any given moment. That's how I cope. Because it will be our forever home and I know that, I feel like I'm that much closer to death. I think because it almost took me in 2009, I feel like death is always there tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me that it can happen at any time, and when I least expect it. Morbid yes, but when you are forced to think beyond the grave, not for yourself, but for a loved one, it's just in your thoughts. Because . . . there is no one else. We are buying the home because we love it, but ultimately, it's so that T will always have a place to live and the floor plan will help take some of the stress off of D's shoulders when we're gone. I can pay into that scenario now or wait until I'm 50. I'd rather get going now and be able to gift D something substantial down the road.
It's a NextGen home, so there's a private casita, a home within a home concept. There are over 1,000 families in my area who call it home and I'm joining that group. I do get too far in my head some days, but it's hard to think of T as a much older person alone, maybe being mistreated by a group home manager, neglected, etc. I just can't. This decision to move gives us more options and gives me little sighs of relief. The move is also a step forward in the grieving process. Early on, I read somewhere that one shouldn't make any life-changing decisions like moving 6 months to 2 years after traumatic event. Well, it's almost been nine, am I allowed to move now? It is weird to think we won't be at our current home as we do have so many memories here. Always envisioned moving all of my boys to the next home together. I still will be moving all of them, but it will be different. Naethyn's box will be upfront with me as we pull out of the driveway. It's another step I have to take. It's hard, but I know it's necessary, healthy (for me), and I think I'm ready.
The kids are excited and that's reassuring. If they weren't comfortable, we wouldn't be doing it. Ready or not to make new memories and start that next phase of our lives! D will be a teenager this year. GULP. They are BOTH such nice kids. I don't know how we got lucky here, but I know that despite everything, we're still lucky to be parents to these two wonderful human beings. Couldn't have gotten through this time without them nor Share. My timeline is in full swing, the countdown has begun. It's hard because I think Naethyn died on March 3rd, but wasn't delivered until the 6th. We've had two garage sales so far, one was a MOD fundraiser and added that total to our page. Hubby has been selling little bags of See's lollipops at work and has a couple left. I used our angel's feet this year with the tags. Being that it's the end of the month, I might cut off the purple, retrace with green marker, and somehow turn them into clovers. If I still have some leftover near Easter, I'll turn the feet into bunny ears! I could keep going, but I'll stop.
Hugs to everyone here and extra hugs to my friends who also share this painful month with me. I am thinking of you and your angels too!
That's so exciting!! We are in the process of shopping for our forever home too! School districts are a big concern in my area. And since my commute isn't to a main area of the city it can make things even more difficult. Currently I have a 5 minute commute so its hard to give that up, but we need more space! I'm glad you ran into someone who was able to share with you and that it helped her. Crazy sometimes how we stumble upon fellow loss families when we least expect it.
Love and hugs
Hi there! Congrats on the new home. Sounds very exciting -- and the perfect fit for your family. I know it's hard to take that leap sometimes, but like I told Kaelin this morning -- you'll never know just how much you can achieve if you never take the chance.
I so love that your angels directed that lady to you. I am sure both of you benefited from that encounter.
Thinking of you this month. Love and hugs!
Yay for a new home...and I get the whole waiting for something bad to happen. I get so on edge everytime we are about to go on vacation, or do something wonderful just waiting for the bad thing to happen. Those residual affects of are lives being ripped apart with our precious babies. I too have the morbid thoughts...like you said with everything we've been through. Sending many hugs as you navigate this month, and prepare for our exciting new home. Nicki
Congratulations on your new home, Lindsay! Thinking of you as you mark Naethyn’s Birthday ❤️
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