MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Lindsay's Latest

REVERSAL UPDATE

Okay. Um, last Friday was rough. I cried a bit in the morning and just like I did in April '09 when I allowed the sun to start slowly shining again in my life, had a conversation with myself. This is not what I wanted, but I can't let it control the rest of my life. So many people depend on me to be okay. I have to let go, but I just don't know how . . . Last Friday morning, I was checking e-mail. It was the out-of-state tube reversal center telling me to please call as the doctor had some concerns about my particular situation. Now, here's the deal people: I scheduled surgery, I already paid for the surgery, booked/paid for my flights, reserved a hotel, arranged care for kiddos, and went to numerous appts with family practitioner and hematologist, and filled prescriptions. I've probably had six appts. in the last three weeks which for me is A LOT. I had already spoken to the anesthesiologist and everything. One would "assume" that the doctor had already looked at my file. I mean, I started doing labs back in October! I don't know if he had second thoughts or what, but in a nutshell, they are canceling my surgery. I am too high-risk to have it done at the center. It has to be done in a hospital setting. Makes sense, but to cancel surgery 20 days before?! I was in shock for a few minutes on the phone while I realized I wouldn't be flying afterall. I've been thinking positive and slowly allowing myself to start dreaming again. I've been soooo good. Even lost another 8 pounds and working toward 5 more before the surgery. Okay. Now, as I'm trying to process all of this, I am also wondering now about REFUNDS. The doctor wrote me a letter and that is enabling us to get full refunds on our airfare, but it's going to take 45 days. They are giving me a full refund on my surgery/scheduling fees and I'm so hoping that all gets posted back to my card next week as they've assured me it will. The cost involved with this procedure was large already and I'm very familiar with the in-hospital expense as we got an estimate in the summer of '09 to do this in-state. Trouble is, I don't trust that local guy and I don't want someone who dabbles in IVF and tube reversal. Plus, I could barely undestand the guy and I do accents for a living! I wanted the people who have performed the most in the world and who have a very high success rate. There is still a chance, IVF. We explored this in AZ and in CA to compare centers and information back in '09 when we were feeling very desperate and bargaining. I still feel a bit desperate and I'm obviously still bargaining. Grief process kicks me in the derriere again . . .

  • Oh Lindsay I am so sorry for all that, but sometimes I feel/think that when things don't come out The way we plan and expect for reasons out of our reach is a way someone/ something out there is telling us something... I am sure I Would also not trust a center that don't take seriously  their patients....

    Hugs and more hugs

    Lorena

    P.s. Come down here it is cheaper and great Drs ( my OB worked in John Hopkins in US) Many come here for medical tourism....:) just a thought...

  • Lindsay,

       Wow, I'm so sorry that everything was all set into place and you were full of hope and excitement only to have the rug pulled out from under you at the last minute.  Is there any possibility that you would be able to get it done in the hospital?  Or is that totally out of the price range, out of the question.  Ugh, just sending tons of hugs to you.

    Stacy

  • Lorena - I was starting to get a bit of that feeling too.  It could be a better deal, but I don't see myself traveling outside of my country for surgery.

    Stacy - I didn't ask what hospitals this NC guy has rights to.  In hospital locally or out-of-state in a hospital is the equivalent to IVF and would be almost the same success rate given my age/case.  The reversal as well as IVF would not have been covered by insurance - 100% out-of-pocket. Sigh.

  • What???  I'm frustrated right along with you at the last minute-ness of this call!  I'm so sorry that you're having to wait and reschedule at this late of a time.  UGH!!!  Hopefully things will be in concrete soon and done by the best dr.!

    Hugs,

    Tracy

  • I'm so so hurting for you as you face this odd an unexpected obstacle. I hope that you can find another doctor that you trust to perform the procedure. Sending you hope and hugs!

    Shannon

  • Lindsay -

    I am so sorry!  This is so frustrating!  If it's one thing I've learned along the way over the last 3+ years, is that doctors are famous for not really reading charts as they should.  I know I shouldn't generalize and that not all doctors are like this - but it happens too frequently.  I'm sorry that you are on this rollercoaster.  

    Wishing you some peace.

    Hugs,

    Libby

  • Ugh, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Please call me if you need to talk or vent!!!

    Love ya, Linds,

    Liz

  • Hey Lindsay,

    I'm sorry that you've encountered this hurdle. This doctor can't do it another hospital facility? I would have to imagine he could refer you to another doctor in his field that he trusted so you didn't have to cancel everything?

    I hope you are still able to proceed -- and with a surgeon you completely trust.

    erin

  • Oh, I'm so sorry for this frustration, Lindsay!!  That stress is the last thing you need now.  I know it's much easier said than done, but try to take some time away from the worry.  Just find a quiet minute, maybe in the sunshine?!, and remember that you have to keep yourself healthy, too.  Go easy on yourself - I'm here, driving myself beyond insane with something completely unrelated and not so delicate, but I know how hard we Mamas can be on ourselves.  Do what you can and do it the best you can...and try your hardest to be patient for the rest.  Sending you lots of love and luck from afar!!

    Hugs,

    -Valerie

  • wow, that's so much to process, when you already feel so out of control, think you have it all planned out and then BAM! You don't.  OMG this sucks.   I am glad that you were able to get all your refunds processed.  I hope that you are able to find another route to achieve the results you want and that it all goes as planned.  In the mean time.... hang in there. :)

  • Lindsay I just hate that you are having this set back. I am going to continue to wish for the best for you and pray that you are able to get another opinion or find a reasonable and affordable alternative to this doctors mess up. :(. I think that insurance should pay for the reversal in situations where the decision was made under duress. Because I did the same thing. Got scared and opted for a tubal after Keira, now I wish I wouldn't have. Hoping 2013 brings some good news.