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Lindsay's Latest

SEE'S CANDY

I visited my local See's candy shoppe recently needing a chocolate fix as well as some little gifts for a few teachers retiring this school year. So, this larger couple was in there and then I noticed, wait - she isn't overweight like me, she's pregnant and she was being induced the following day as she told the gal at the register. They were in there asking about chocolate cigars with pink ribbon (having a girl!). They asked the price of the cigars which came to $2.50 each and they both shook their heads at that. I wanted to intervene and say just wait till you pay for all of the other stuff if you think $2.50 is expensive. No wait, even better, wait for the hospital bill or am I paying your bill as the taxpayer?! Sorry, not feeling it, not expecting it, and when she glanced over my way for that little nod or cheer of congratulations, I remained calm and pretended as if they didn't exist. Am I awful or what? It's their first baby and they are elated and I just couldn't share in their joy. They have no idea what the other side of all of this pain looks like. After they left, the gal at the counter said that I didn't look too good. I paused for a moment and said that I had lost a baby last year and what had just transpired there in that little store just made me freeze and remember my loss. Urgh. I feel bad to have not tossed a little nod their way, but I'm sure that couple is doing great and are so excited to be parents. In other news, I received an e-mail this morning from my sister, the one I haven't seen nor spoken with in over a year. I opened the e-mail 6 hours later and it just reads "how are you?" I haven't responded yet. I don't know if I will. Why bother?

  • Oh yes, have been in stores when others speak of babies and I just want to run out as fast as I can. I am so sorry this happened to you, it isn't fair.

    Anger is such a spontaneous feeling like when people complain about their kids you just want to smack them!

    Thinking of you and sending a big hug.

    Kami

  • I haven't lost a child but I can tell you it sends chills down my spin when people talk about wanting the baby out before they reach full term.  I think being angry can come in many forms and yours is totally justified.  

    As for you sister, I would be just as succinct as she was.  A "fine" or "call me and we'll talk" would get your point across.  Then the ball is back in her court.

    Hugs to you!

    Jackie

  • This conversation is one that I try to avoid at all costs either being out in public and overhearing it or hearing about it from friends.  You're not awful, you were protecting yourself from feeling it too much!  I would have done the same thing, though I think I probably would have thrown in a dirty look or eye roll in there while they weren't looking :D.  Ok, not really but I would have thought it. :)  So sorry that you had to stand there through one of those conversations.  I think I like Jackie's idea on how to respond, but it's completely up to you and what you are comfortable with.

    Thinking of you

    Stacy

  • Sorry you had that unexpected and unwanted jolt at your See's visit.  You know, I never thought about that kind of stuff... or about how my happiness could cause someone else pain.  Meeting all of you guys on SHARE that have gone through a loss like that has really taught me to cherish every moment... and to try to be a little less 'in your face' about things.  

    It's got to be so hard to run into reminders that your sweet little Naethyn isn't here with you where he belongs.  Have you guys moved on with the malpractice suit?  

    Any how, I just wanted to tell you that you aren't a bad person for thinking the way you did.  Your strength amazes me.  I probably would have said something.. and then thought about how I shouldn't have later. :)

               *sending good thoughts your way*

                                     Julie

  • It is tough to see the joy in others' lives and not remember what might've been for yourself.  I'm so sorry that you're having to go through any of this!

    I don't think it would hurt to answer your sister.  Maybe she's had a change of heart and really wants to reach out to you.  Besides, if you answer, then the ball is in her court again.

    Tracy

  • Thank you ladies.  I am trying to be good about supporting others.  It's hard to hold your tongue and give the fake smile.  I was trying my best not to react at all in that store for fear of losing it.  Sometimes I take moments like that as a little test that someone is sending me.  I like the idea of sending my sister a one liner, so that again it's on her.  I feel like I have too much on my plate and I really don't want to deal with her right now.