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Last Friday was a big day for Bruno and me. We met with the genetics doctor to get the autopsy results on Marco. After going to the doctor every week for 6 weeks through August and September, it was honestly nice to have a break from going to see doctors for a little while. Going to meet with the geneticist brought back memories of going to the doctor and not knowing what to expect. We were both nervous, but were trying to stay cautiously optimistic. We had seen this doctor when she came in to the hospital for a consult with us while I was still pregnant and we really like her and felt comfortable with her. Also, the social worker from the NICU who helped us the day Marco was born and passed and the days following came with us for support which was so great. The results of the autopsy are the best possible in this situation. The genetics doctor could not come up with a diagnosis for him. The extensive chromosomal analysis was normal. The most likely possible explanation is that there is no explanation – a “fluke”, or that it was a mutation in early fetal development. If this is the case, she says there is a 3 – 5 % chance for recurrence. One other possibility (which she thinks is not likely) is that it is an autosommal recessive trait that my husband and I both have and passed to the baby. If this is the case, there is a 25% chance for recurrence. Again, she does not think this is the case, but could not completely rule it out. There is no testing that can be done on my husband or me as they do not know what they are looking for. The most severe finding on him was the “fused” or “locked” jaw. She says that she has never seen this before. She reiterated that during Marco’s short few hours that he lived, there was a huge collaboration of doctors from different specialties all trying to figure out ways to give him a sustainable airway – and that no one could come up with anything. She also said that there is no way he could have survived. As sad as this is, it was reassuring for me to hear that since we made the final decision not to have them try any further extraordinary measures. There’s been a “what if” quietly going in the back of my head – “what if we had them try the tracheostomy”. Well, hearing her say that there’s no way he would have survived just solidified our decision to me. I’m glad that we made the decision we did so that he didn’t have to suffer through needless procedures. Instead, we will always remember his last moments as peaceful ones. Because the doctor has not seen the locked jaw – or any case similar to his before, she thinks it is worth writing it up to publish in a medical journal. We told her that we would be very supportive of this – as someone may be able to benefit from it in the future if it were to happen again. This weekend I re-read the sympathy and encouragement cards we received along the way and put them away in the box we bought for him with his other belongings. We set the box on our dresser in our room with his urn and a picture of him. This Christmas will be hard for us, as it would have been much different had everything turned out “normal”. We were given an ornament with Marco’s name and birth date on it from my cousin. It was the first ornament we hung. Though Marco will remain in our heart and soul forever, we are now trying to look forward with hope. We are hoping that next year at this time we will have a healthy baby with us (or on the way). We plan to start trying again in January. I know I will be nervous and a little scared, but I will also be excited and hopeful. Thank you to all of those who have followed our journey. Here’s to a happier ending the next time around! We’ll keep you posted on any new developments. Attatched is a picture of our little angel.