MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

BROUGHT BACK IN TIME

I am going to admit right off the bat here that I am a disorganized person. Well – I like to say I have a disorganized organization :) I guess my disorganization brought me back in time yesterday. I was returning to my desk at work yesterday after having gotten up for something when I saw a folded/slightly torn up piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and opened it. On it was the name and address of the location of the support group I attended after I lost Marco. I guess it had been in my coat pocket all this time. I’m sure it fell out yesterday when I had thrown my coat over my chair. I definitely was not expecting to see that. I didn’t even know I had it in my pocket. Looking at it certainly brought me back. I remember the first meeting I went to…it was December, 2009. I remember how I was almost surprised to see that so many other women suffered the loss of a baby. Until I lost Marco, I really only had met one person who had lost a baby (actually she lost twins) – but that was when I was younger, so I really didn’t know the depths of the pain was facing. I don’t know quite what to do with this slip of paper now. I left it on my desk yesterday and am looking at it now. I don’t want to throw it away for some reason. I guess I will just add it to one of the memory boxes I have for him. I have been thinking lately about all of the joy that Lucia has brought to us. She is such a ray of light and it is basically impossible to feel anything but happy when around her. I started thinking about Marco and how these are moments that we will never have with him. I realized though, that he has and continues to bring joy to my life as well. Though he is not here with us, I feel so blessed that we had him for the very short time we did. Also, because of him, I’ve met this wonderful family of people through SHARE and also through the support group I attended. I still keep in touch with a few of them regularly. Marco’s short life guided me toward all of you amazing people. You all have and continue to bring me joy and comfort…thank you for that! So, I guess I will put the slip of paper back in my coat pocket for its destination to Marco’s memory box. Hopefully I will remember to pull it out and put it away, so it doesn’t sit in my pocket for another 2 years. Sheesh – I guess I need to clean my coat pockets more often!! :chagrin: Marco buddy, thank you for continuing to be a light in my life. Thank you for all of the joy you have brought to me and your daddy. We love you so much.

  • I totally get that attachment to some of the most random items.  They bring you back... connections to a time.

    Isn't it wonderful to realize that both kiddos bring their own unique sense of joy to our lives.

    Hugs momma!

    Lauren

  • Yep, I get those little memories and wanting to hang onto them.  Always nice to find something a little extra you didn't know you had to hang onto their memories.

    Hugs!

    Stacy

  • Hi Libby,

    Perhaps that little slip of paper on the floor was Marco's way of showing you just how far you've come. our angels always seem to find a way to reach us. hang onto it.

    hugs to you!

    erin

  • Libby,

    Isn't it interesting how the littlest of things takes us right back in time?  I think it could be a sign from Marco too.  Hmm, instead of that brick falling out of your pocket, it was literally a little note this time.  Hope you do add it to one of his boxes:)

    Lots of love,

    Lindsay

  • I have things like that stuck in Taylor's memory box as well....  

    I understand your joy of having the short time.  I'm blessed for the 15 hours that we had with her.  

    Hugs to you ---and some extras for Lucia!

    Tracy

  • I like your story, Libby. Another blm I was talking to on Friday said that we will always have the sadness for our lost little ones, but that when we are able to have more, the sadness becomes surrounded by joy. I'm glad you are able to look at reminders of Marco through the bubble of joy Lucia has built around your grief.

    Hugs,

    Shannon

  • I love you Leeb.  I think about Marco almost every day, several times a day....and about Lucia too of course!