Eight years ago today, my sister Lisa, 7 years old than me, was 31 weeks pregnant with her second. She was at the hospital receiving a magnesium sulfate IV drip to stop her preterm labor.
I was there with her, holding her hand and comforting her. I was also pregnant, 27 weeks, with Marco.
A chaplain came in to her room while I was there and talked with us for a short time. She remarked about me being pregnant too, and how nice that was that my sister and I were pregnant together. She asked if I knew what we were having, and I told her we were waiting to find out.
What I didn't the chaplain was that my beloved baby in my belly was indeed very sick and had was in trouble. I could have brought it up, but it wasn't the time. My sister needed the support then. She had been such a support for me during my entire pregnancy, often in tears on the phone while I gave her the update from the latest perinatologist. She was the one who needed the support now. She was struggling to keep her little one safely in utero, and she was scared, too.
The chaplain said an Our Father prayer with us before she left. The three of us all held hands. Tears streaming down Lisa's and my eyes, crying for each other, for each other's babies who both needed the prayers.
It was one of the most tender moments that she and I have ever shared. Our babies, Sebastian and Marco, connected through their mothers' love for each other and each other's babies.
The next day, Lisa's labor continued, and Sebastian was born, 9 weeks early.
Two days after that, I was admitted to the hospital on bed rest due to concern about the blood flow in the umbilical cord. Thirteen days after that, Marco was born and died.
This time of year always brings me back to those days. It's not that I "like" reliving it, but remembering it all makes me feel closer to Marco.
Tomorrow, Sebastian will turn 8. Despite his early arrival, he is a healthy and happy kiddo - FULL of energy! I am so thankful for him and the life that he brought during such a dark time for our family.
I sometimes think back and feel sad for my sister who was dealing with giving birth to a 31 weeker at the same time I lost my baby. I know that what she was going through might have been minimized by what I was dealing with. There was never resentment between us though, and always just a deep love and understanding. I think she has some survivors guilt - Sebastian lived, and Marco didn't. In years past when planning one of Sebby's birthday parties, she said she was feeling sad because Marco should be having a birthday party now, too. She has had to work through a lot, as I have.
And so the countdown is on. The countdown to the end of Marco's life. What a whirlwind it all was. I'll walk the next 13 days remembering it all.
Marco, sometimes I don't know how I made it through that time. There was so much uncertainty, fear and sadness. I'll never understand it. But it happened the way it happened, and so it is. You are not here in body with us. You are not here to have a party with your cousin Sebastian. But you are with us. We know you are, as we feel your love always shining a ray of light.
Sebastian and Lucia this summer at the beach showing off their henna tattoos
And just because, here are my two little Rainbows, Lucia and Annabelle :)
Sisters are amazing. I will be keeping you both and your sweet Marco in my thoughts. He holds a special place in my, and so many on Share's hearts.
The days leading up to loss are tough. Thinking of you during your tough days. Love and hugs as you walk these few days remembering Marco.
It's really a wonderful thing that you and your sister have been able to support each other through and through. I remember you sharing about the traveling necklace that you all took turns wearing:) I'm thinking about you and your precious Marco. I know what you mean about not totally looking forward to this time, but that it makes you feel closer to the one growing up in Heaven.
Love the sweet pics of your girls. A belated Happy Birthday to Lucia as well:)
this is such an honest and beautiful story. My own sister was 9 months pregnant when she came to the hospital to take care of me when my daughter was born at 25 weeks. She had her son exactly 1 week later. Those sister/cousin bonds are incredible. Thank you for giving me renewed appreciation of mine. I'm thinking of Marco and sending hugs to your sweet rainbow girls!
Thinking of you as you remember Marco. Love the pix of the girls.
I bring you lots of love and many hugs as you walk through these next 13 days remembering your sweet Marco. I feel blessed to know your precious boy. I offer the same to your sister. I imagine this is a hard time for her too.... sisters love together and hurt together. I suppose part of me likes to think that Sebastian and Marco have a bond maybe we don't even realize yet.
And I just love your beautiful Rainbows! Just seeing those sweet faces brings a smile to mine.
Love and hugs my friend,
Lots of love and hugs your way as your remember Marco. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of you and your sister. Its a testament to your relationship and your love for each other that you could support each other unconditionally. Wishing you peace.
Love and Hugs
Just sending all the love to you.
Hugs and Love!!!
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