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Marco's urn and his memory box live on the dresser in our room. I always know that he is there and I usually put my jewelry right there before I go to bed at night. I usually look at his little picture that I have right there and tell him that I love him. I noticed the other day though, how dusty the memory box was on the top where the glass case is. I finally took the time today to dust it off really nicely. It got me thinking... I've been feeling a little guilty about leaving Lucia this weekend for SU. I live very close to where SU is this year, so if needed, I could always run home. I had planned to meet up with Bruno and her some time on Saturday so I could spend a little time with her. Bruno thinks I shouldn't though, and that I should just focus on SU. I know she will be in good hands with her daddy, and I think it will be good for them to have some bonding time. Anyway, today when I was dusting Marco's box, it made me realize that this weekend will be dedicated to him and will give me some time with just him. I know I will be thinking about Lucia all weekend...but she will not be right in front of me to hold and care for. It's almost as if I will be taking a little retreat to "dust" off my relationship with my dear Marco. It will give me time to clear away any cloudiness that has been put there since having Lucia. The cloudiness has not been because I have forgotten about him or love him any less, but just from giving almost all of my energy to taking care of Lucia. So, even though I will miss Lucia terribly this weekend, I plan to take the time to clear away any dust between me and my angel Marco. It is fitting that SU is this weekend because Sunday will mark the 2 year anniversary of when we had his memorial service. It's complicated to be the mother of an angel and a mother of a live baby here on this earth. I am getting more used to it now...but I am realizing the complexity of it. I am very excited to see you all this weekend...you are such wonderful people who have really been there for me. It means more than you all will ever know. Marco, this weekend I will be taking some special time to remember you and just how very special you are to me and your family. Please look over your sister and daddy while I'm away :) Love you buddy.