MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

GETTING THERE...

Basically I have nothing new to report. I'm still doing about the same. I keep talking myself up..."it's going to be ok". I find the day time to be the hardest - when I'm at work. I daydream a lot there...find it hard to focus. Achieving pregnancy has been very consuming. Some people say, "just relax and it will happen". I would have said this myself a couple of years ago. I used to be in that school of thought. I still believe that there is (maybe) some truth to it...but I know that you can still get pregnant when you're borderline obsessed with it (not that I'm trying to be obsessed - it's just hard to supress what I'm longing for). I really AM trying the "just relax" method though (kind of)...I'm trying everything in my power to relax. I'm doing my yoga and going to acupuncture. I'm trying to teach myself guitar - which is pretty amusing :) Anyway - I kind of just feel like I sound like a broken record. Saying the same things over and over again. Thank you to all of you on SHARE who offer support, encouragement and empathy...all of you who listen to my broken record, my broken heart. This is certainly a journey. I am traveling through it one day at a time. I will get through it. I must. I have to believe that I will one day hold my smiling little baby in my arms. Marco, you are my shining star, my guiding light. You are with me always. I love you.

  • Beautiful pictures!  I'm glad you shared!  Sometimes the broken record is a good thing when you're doing well.

    Keep relaxing and taking things one day at a time...that's all you can do and we all love to listen!

    Take care,

    Megan.

  • I know what you mean about obsessed. I try to chill, but it's all that matters to me right now! Keep breathing. Keep talking. Let me know if you'd like me to send that book: The Infertility Cure by Randine A. Lewis.

    Shannon

  • PS- They are beautiful pictures.

  • Honey - you are not a broken record - you have a broken heart and that takes time and practice to handle.  Your journey will take you through many an emotion.  Stay true to your feelings and good to yourself - time will heal the management of it - but it's at your own time - however long.  Love you lots!  ~Uncle B~  PS: pictures are heartbreaking - so tiny he was.  Thank you for sharing.

  • Thank you so much for sharing your pictures with the Share community. Precious. I love the feet. :) You will one day hold Marco's brother or sister in your arms. Our little angels will help us through. And yes, this is certainly a journey, one that none of us ever wanted to go down. I am so glad that you are able to blog and talk about Marco. I love hearing about him!  We are always here for you and we will always listen.

    Hugs,

    Kami

  • Precious little feet.  I think the feet are my favorite part about babies, tiny little toes!  You're right, it is going to be ok, it is totally horrible, but we will be ok eventually.  I hate the people say relax and it'll happen, those are usually the ones that never had a problem conceiving.  I feel the same way much of the time, like I'm just repeating myself over and over, but the people here are so wonderful and help me out of my ruts!  Big hugs to you!  I can't wait to see a picture of you holding your own smiling little baby!

    Stacy

  • I spent YEARS trying to have my kids. I had 5 miscarriages, then my son Logan, 5 more miscarriages, then was pregnant with twins, lost one early on, then delivered Morgan at 26 weeks. I had 12 pregnancies. It was pretty much hell the whole way through. The only way I could get through it was by keeping my head down, & stubbornly concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. I think I couldn't have gone through all that, over & over again, if I wasn't a bit obsessed, right? Give yourself a break, you are a perfectly normal person who has been through a very difficult & not so normal situation. I think you are doing a great job coping. You should be proud of yourself.

    Hugs,

    Kristina

  • Libby,

    it is going to be OK... You will see...sooner or later it will work out. I agree with Stacy- people that never had problems concieving usually say "Relax and it will happen". That was all I was hearing while going through infertility treatments...

    And you don't sound like a broken record...you are a mom with a broken heart. It takes time to heal...and great effort. Just remember that in this journey you are not alone...we are all here for you...

    Sending lots of hugs and lots of positive energy your way...

    Julia

    P.S. Thank you for sharing these beautiful pictures...How precious...

  • Thanks so much for sharing another glimspe of precious Marco.  Every time I see little white butterflies happily chasing each other I think of little Marco and I say a prayer for you.  I pray for God to send you His peace which passes all understanding... and for you to finally have another baby in your arms soon.  I've been seeing lots of them lately :)  

     *Your in my prayers*

            Julie

  • Could his toes have been any more beautiful?  That picture of you and Bruno is captivating.  It captures the deep love that you have for your Marco.  You may feel like a broken record, but you are not.  You are a mother who only got to hold her baby for what, one or 2 hours?  By writing in your blogs, you are healing yourself and inspiring other women.  It's ok to be obsessed with having a baby, I think it's programmed into most women, especially given what you have been through.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking it a step at a time, and if you get ahead of yourself-embrace it.  The pictures are beautiful.

    Love you

  • Libby -

    I am such a bad friend!  I didn't look at these pictures on my i-phone because they don't automatically download.  I am crying with you.  

    Love,

    Zsuzsi