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aww Libby...I can absolutley relate to this blog. I am extremely lucky, Madison is with me today but her journey was a difficult one and it scared me to the bone that I would lose her. I was so petrified that we had decided not to tempt fate and get pregnant again. I so desperately wanted another and knew I would never get over it if I didnt have one. After all the tests and drs appointments and we finally did get pregnant again I was so scared to bond because of my fears. I even stayed off share the whole pregnancy. I couldnt get everyones stories outof my head. I knew to much now. I knew what could go wrong. I could never again be that naive pregnant girl again. I thank God every second that all went amazing and I have chunchy butt now. ...praying for the same for you xoxo
"An endless sea of losses" wow. Those words... they capture so much. I can still hear the memory of the excitement in my voice when people asked me what I was having and I said this same line every time... "A girl... I know! We're so excited!!" and every time I was jumping out of my skin with naive excitement for the perfection we were living. That voice, those moments are a memory.
Like you I am overall happy... and yet no matter what there is that part always there that remains in knots. What a journey this is. So humbled to be able to walk it with you.
Endless sea of losses- that will stick with me.
Hi Honey ~ you are still embarking on the brave steps of learning a new perspective on life all the while working at a job that gives you perspective of what you use to be like. I hope this experience is part of your healing process. I think you are very brave to do the work you do given what you have been through. I'm hopeful you both will have another healthy baby in the future. And applaud you for "blogging it out" when you get one of those emotional curve balls. I know it is still hard even after all these years. I admire how you are working through it.
Oh that we could all be that innocent, and remain that way, again....that we didn't know what can be and too often is.
Hugs and love,
I think that this is one of the most accurate blog entries Libby. You nailed it. The phrases you used to describe our lives are so true. Like Lauren endless sea of losses will also stick with me. We have lost much more than just a physical body after all. We've lost an entire lifetime. Over all happy, that's so true! It sounds awful to read a blog that is about something so terrible and to smile and think yes! yes! Finally. because someone is able to but it into words. That how I felt when I read this. Thank you Libby.
Libby, I agree! This one is REALLY good lady! I love ALL of your posts, but your words here speak for so many of us. You are so brave for agreeing to being the back-up maternity nurse. That call must have been so difficult. Those feelings . . . right there with you my friend.
Oh big hugs, I can totally relate. Sometimes it can just hit you in the gut seeing someone so carefree in their pregnancies and knowing that was stolen from us. Oh, and as a side note, I love that you send a little love note to Marco with every entry 3
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