MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

MY 20'S

My 20’s age-wise are long gone…I said goodbye to them last October. They were full of ups and downs. Lots of fun and of course some tears. Wonderful events like my wedding, and extremely difficult events like having to say hello and goodbye to my first born child all in one day. This blog post really isn’t about my 20’s age-wise though…it’s really about my 20’s with this pregnancy. Weeks 20-29. This whole pregnancy has been a challenge for me emotionally…but it seems to me that these last few weeks, the early 20’s, have just been a little more difficult. It’s funny to write this, because I would have thought that after getting the good news about the sonogram looking good and the baby looking healthy, I would have felt better. Part of me really does feel better. A huge part. But, then there’s the worry side of me that is scared to death about messing something up with the baby…now that I know the baby looks healthy. I almost feel that I’m walking on a line, and if I step too far to the right, or too many steps to the left, I might mess up and damage the baby somehow. I’m very aware that this is not a healthy way to feel. I know that part of it is just my annoying anxiety haunting me and trying to get the best of me. I think that my anxiety might be more amped up right now because of where I am in my pregnancy...the 20’s. This time period is when all of the difficult days during my pregnancy with Marco occurred. At 22 weeks 6 days we got the bad news about all of the problems. From there, it was 7 weeks of fear, sadness, anger, all mixed in with hope and love until the day he was born, at 29 weeks 4 days. Well, I just passed 22w 6 d with Little Foot this past Thursday. I actually went to my OB that day for an unscheduled appointment to check on the baby. I felt like the movement may have been a little less this week than the week or two prior, so for sanity sake, I made a last minute appointment to go in and get the little one checked out. When she put the Doppler on my belly, not only did I feel a big kick, but we also heard scuffling in there…the baby was moving. We then heard his/her nice strong, beautiful heartbeat. Bruno was there with me. It was a really special moment…hearing the sound of life on a day that was so heartbreaking to us during Marco’s pregnancy. Marco, it was 2 years ago last week that I found out I was pregnant with you. You gave us so much joy during the short time you were with us. Thank you for teaching us so much. We love you, and know that you are watching over your little brother or sister in a very special way. I always tell Little Foot how lucky s/he is to have a special brother/guardian angel protecting him/her.

  • I've been thinking about you and am so thankful for the update.  I can only go so long without starting to worry about an expecting angel mommy. :)

    I remember my worry and anxiety with Micah increasing around those weeks that were especially emotional during Akeelah's pregnancy.  It's a difficult road.

    I know that you are already an amazing mommy to Little Foot just as you are to Marco.

    Hugs,

    Lauren

  • I, too, was hoping for an update soon. I wish I had some words of comfort, but all I can say is hold on to hope - it's taken you this far - and thank goodness for an OB who will fit you in to calm your fears.

    Thinking of you. Big hugs,

    Shannon

  • Libby, congrats your past the half way mark!!!!

    Anxiety.....it was there thru my whole pregnancy, I think I drove my myself and my nurse crazy with questions...and I too went in just to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. How can we not have anxiety? We lost our first babies, so we don't know what a full term healthy pregnancy is. I lost Baron at

    30 wks so i was in unchartered territory the last ten

    wks. I know It's not easy, but your doing it. It takes so much faith and warrior strength but you will do it and were here to help you along the way

    Many hugs

    Brooke

  • There's nothing that can take away that anxiety after you've gone through such  a difficult time.  I wish that there was something because I think we could make a ton of money on it!!  I'm glad to hear that Little Foot is doing well, and that you were able to enjoy a special moment with Bruno in hearing that heartbeat and "scuffle"!!  

    I'm glad that you posted....I almost emailed you last night to see how things are going....great minds must think alike!!

    Hugs to you!!

    Tracy

  • So glad to get an update from you.  I can only imagine the anxiety that you are feeling.  It's normal with everything you've been through.  I am so glad that you are going in for those checks just to reassure yourself that all is well.  Good luck with the rest of your 20s and you go into that office as much as you want:)

    Thinking of you,

    Lindsay

  • So glad to hear from you. :) I'm right with ya girl. My feelings are the same as we approach the weeks where Jay and Morgan were born. I just pray that God takes that anxiety and fear from my heart and it does work. Will pray that prayer for you my friend.

    Hugs,

    Kami

  • Libby:

    Yes getting to anxiety weeks of last pregnancy is really hard, I am so glad everything is ok and you and Little Foot are fine. Believe me there is nothing you can do or miss doing that can affect your pregnancy and your baby in a wrong way. You have done everything possible for you to make it right, and I know everything is going to be all right.

    About the 20´s going away, ufff well is just another phase in life, just a number as I say, the real age is how you feel, and welcome to the 30ths......

    Anxiety is normal, but try to control it, and yes it is  emotionally a pregnancy after an angel and  overwhelming and draining..... full your life with good things and toughts..... wishing all the best always.....

    Lorena

  • Libby- what can i say but hold on to your hope :).  just take it one day at a time and try not to get too far ahead of yourself....and remember to keep breathing!

    thinking of you-

    Jennifer